Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching T.V . However, TV cannot replace the book as a learning tool,which is why children are less well educated today,to what extent do you agree with this statement ?

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Increasing
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The increasing
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of well-educated
children
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is because of
prefering whatching
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prefer watching TV
T
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.
V
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instead
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of reading books,
as well as
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,
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apply
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more
time
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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spent on
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T.
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TV programmes
V
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progerams by
children
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.I fairly agree with
this
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statment
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statement
due to
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two reasons.
First
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First,
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there are a lot of non-beneficial shows on
T
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,
V
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and
second,
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lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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of consideration can be introduced by
advertisment
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advertisements
on
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T.
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TV
V
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when watching an educational program.
To begin
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with,
usually
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usually,
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children
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spend their
time
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on entertainment shows
such
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as
,
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apply
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sports matches and comedy movies, which are benefits-free in
field
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the field
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of education. Attraction youths to dedicating free
time
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on
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to
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T
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.
V
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is lurative for creators and
other
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others
show examples
in
charges
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charge
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of
televesion
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television
,
as a
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result
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result,
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they do not care about
need
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the need
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to teach
to
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apply
show examples
children
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,
consequently
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, all
leisure
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the leisure
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time
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of
youngest
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the youngest
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can be filled by which they are
intrest
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interested
interest
in.
For
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example
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example,
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a program of Football World Cup will absorb
significant
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significantly
show examples
more audiences than
a
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apply
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mathematics. Because of that,
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T.
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TV
V
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can not increase
literacy
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the literacy
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rate
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, throught
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throught
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through
people.
Secondly
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, studying and learning
is
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are
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focuse-demanding
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focused-demanding
focus-demanding
while
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variety
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a variety
the variety
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of
destraction
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destruction
distraction
can halt focusing on subjects. The boldest one of these
destractions
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distractions
is
advertisment
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advertisements
which are seen
in
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apply
show examples
every second
time
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of
T
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.
V
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.
This
Linking Words
is
Verb problem
apply
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lead
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leads
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to
decresing
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decreasing
gaining
Verb problem
apply
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knowledge
from
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on
show examples
T
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.
V
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. To be more precise, when a student is passing a geography session in
this
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way, a short subtitle about an
intresting
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interesting
concert
for example
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may run what he/she has made in mind.
subsequently
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, it
reveal
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reveals
show examples
that,
reanig
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reading
an educational book is more practical for learning compared to
whatchin
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what is
on
televesion
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television
. In
conclusio
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conclusion
, accurate learning is more feasible by book rather than on
T
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.
V
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.
First,
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juvenile
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juveniles
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can
cosider
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consider
on
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apply
show examples
their lessons more
convenient
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conveniently
show examples
because no advertising
exist
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exists
show examples
in books.
Secondly
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,most of the books provide crucial
subject
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subjects
show examples
to
studying
Wrong verb form
study
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whilst,
moderate
Correct article usage
a moderate
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persentage
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percentage
of
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T.
Correct your spelling
TV
V
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programs just invest
on
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in
show examples
funny and entertainment shows.
Submitted by amirhossein7179 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Focus on organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a single main idea. Use connecting words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure the introduction clearly presents the topic and your position, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments. Both should be distinct and explicitly state the thesis.
Task Achievement
Support your main points with relevant and specific examples or evidence, which strengthen your arguments and demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Expand on your ideas to fully address the prompt. Give equal attention to discussing the extent to which you agree with the given statement, and whether you think TV can be educational or not.
Task Achievement
Clarify and expand upon your ideas to convey them more comprehensively. Aim for a more nuanced argument that reflects the complexity of the issue, considering both sides where appropriate.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on grammatical accuracy and range of vocabulary to express your ideas clearly and effectively. Be mindful of sentence structure and word choice.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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