Write about the following topic. There are many people who go to live in different countries. To what extent should people be allowed to move freely between countries and live where they choose? What are the benefits and drawbacks of this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Some
people
are trying to live abroad and leave their origin
country
. In my point of view, I disagree if
people
are very easily to leave their
country
.
This
essay will explain the advantages and disadvantages related to
this
case. First and foremost, the
citizen
should stay in their
country
because it might help their
government
in civil registration, especially census.
This
data will be a reference for the
government
to create any policies related to social welfare.
Moreover
, if
citizen
lives in their own
country
, there will be an investment in manpower of the
country
. The labour force is a major economic resource for a
country
. By having a lot of energetic and healthy citizens, productivity will be increased, and state revenue could be raised. To illustrate, if a
country
has much labour,
then
some companies will invest and open their business so that they might use local as their labour and perhaps will impact the economic revenue in one
country
.
Thus
, to help the
government
, local inhabitants should live in their
country
and not move easily.
On the other hand
,
this
might cause some argue. Some
people
might live in conflict areas and perhaps easily experience
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
riots in their
country
. If so,
people
might find it difficult to find a haven
while
their
country
is in a problem.
Also
, some
people
who find it hard to travel abroad will not have a different perspective about another
country
.
For instance
, North Korea forbids their
citizen
to go abroad
besides
China, and if they became migrants, they might feel culture shock because the world is already changing.
Therefore
, the negative effect,
such
as hard-to-find shelter and culture shock, will affect their
citizen
if they cannot go outside easily. In conclusion, not moving freely to another
country
is like two sides of a coin. Sometimes, it will help the
government
to make the policy, but sometimes, it is
also
hard for citizens, especially if they live in dangerous areas.
Submitted by sharontaaa on

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task response
To improve your task response, ensure that you address all parts of the task with a complete response. Expand upon your reasoning and provide clear, comprehensive answers while fully addressing the extent to which people should be allowed to move freely between countries. You must also discuss the benefits and drawbacks critically and in a balanced manner.
coherence cohesion
To enhance your coherence and cohesion, work on developing clear logical structures that are easy to follow. Ensure that your paragraphs are well-organized, with each one containing a central topic that is developed with supporting sentences. Connect your ideas smoothly with a variety of linking words and avoid repetition to maintain the flow of your essay.
task achievement
While including relevant examples to support your points is good, try to bring in very specific and precise examples to strengthen your arguments. General statements can weaken the effectiveness of your examples, so aim to provide concrete and detailed instances to illustrate your points.

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