IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The line graphs illustrate the
varities
Correct your spelling
varieties
 in ownership of electrical devices and the amount of
time
 spent doing
Correct your spelling
house chore
house chores
housechore
Correct your spelling
housing
 in families in one country over
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 period
1920
Change preposition
from 1920
show examples
 to 2019
Overall
, the percentage of
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 with machines quite
in creased
Correct your spelling
increased
show examples
 over the
time
 presented.
Moreover
, the hours that families spent on them
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
slightly decreased day by day. To commence with, the washing machines
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 utilised devices that started at 40% and continued to grow to 70%, after 20 years
then
 had a dip before got back to the previous amount. In the same
period
Add a comma
period,
show examples
 the vacuum cleaner
was rising
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 stably from 30% and approached the top for over 80 years. At the same
time
, the refrigerator's trajectory might be
rank
Change the form of the verb
ranked
show examples
 first in
developpment
Correct your spelling
development
 thanks to the
rocketered
Correct your spelling
rockered
rocketed
 jump to 90% users when it
was appeared
Change to the active voice
appeared
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1920.
In contrast
, the orbit of the hours of housework per week in the country slightly declined from 50%
then
 just only
got
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
10% at the final
time
 that was recorded.
Submitted by Alexandre Harvey on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words time with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • household appliances
  • time-efficient
  • labour-saving devices
  • technological innovations
  • ownership rate
  • housework chores
  • domestic workload
  • automation
  • advancements
  • trend analysis
  • societal shifts
  • economic impact
  • durability
  • lifespan of appliances
  • maintenance
  • historical comparison
  • time allocation
  • drudgery reduction
  • energy consumption
  • disruption in trends
What to do next:
Look at other essays: