Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

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this

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generation,

children

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are beginning to spend more and more time on their smartphones

due to

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many reasons. From a general point of view, I believe just the fact that most of their day goes towards their gadgets is a negative

development

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. There are many reasons why minors are becoming addicted to appliances.

For example

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, nowadays there are many video games and many more that are being developed, and offspring get obsessed with these video games, and a possible cause for

this

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due to

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the fact that they don’t like to socialize and play outside

due to

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bullying.

in addition

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this

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, schoolwork is becoming more and more advanced and digital, causing minors to have to use hardware for schoolwork as well. As

era

Correct article usage

the era

show examples

goes by, everything is becoming digitalized for human convenience.

For example

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instead

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of getting a dictionary and looking through it for the word you want to find, you can simply search it on Google and you will get what you are looking for in a matter of seconds, which causes kids to become lazy, and get used to convenience.

Additionally

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according to

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a study of 7,097

children

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published Monday in the journal JAMA Pediatrics, excessive screen time is linked with higher risks of developmental delays in communication, fine motor, problem-solving and personal and social skills. In conclusion,

due to

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the fact that you need electronics for almost everything,

children

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are getting used to using devices often.

However

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, In my opinion,

this

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is a negative

development

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, because it has many negative effects on the child. Some offspring spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is

this

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the case? Do you think

this

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is a positive or a negative

development

Use synonyms

?Some

children

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spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is

this

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the case? Do you think

this

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is a positive or a negative

development

Use synonyms

Submitted by mubinamukhtorjonova on Mon Feb 05 2024

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coherence cohesion

Develop a clear thesis statement in the introduction to better guide the reader about your stance on the issue.

coherence cohesion

Use paragraphing effectively to separate different ideas, ensuring a logical progression from one point to the next.

coherence cohesion

Avoid repetition and redundancy in your sentences to make your point more effectively.

task achievement

Work on creating more comprehensive main points that relate directly to the questions asked.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your arguments, such as real-life effects on children's behaviour or health due to smartphone usage.

task achievement

Ensure that both positive and negative aspects are explored if the question requires a discussion of both sides.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

As technology advances, travelling to space is likely to become an option for holidaymakers in the future. What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages.

With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed?

Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to a workplace every day. Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help prevent illness and diseas. To what extend do you agree or disagree?