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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that the main benefit of international cooperation is in the protection of the environment, while others believe that businesses mainly benefit. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #benefit #cooperation #protection #environment #businesses
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Nowadays, an increase in international
cooperation
 can be noticed.It is often argued that the main aim of
this
 network is to protect our environment, whilst others believe that financial matters are the prime target of
this
 phenomenon.
This
 essay agrees with the fact that worldwide
cooperation
 is beneficial for business in the headline. For decades, environmental issues have become a consequential subject on the table among the international community.It is crystal clear that dealing with those troubles, notably global warming is a must.Even though Earth is compartmentalised with borders and each country has its own government, our planet remains one. In
this
 regard,many rules have been set up to avoid the destruction of our precious property,
such
 as the establishment of electric cars in Europe accompanied by the limitation of fuel energy.
Moreover
, a collective awareness has arisen in the population, and spirit all over the world thanks to
this
cooperation
.
However
, many disagree with the fact that ecology is the first purpose of international
cooperation
as well as
this
 essay does.Indeed, alongside those advantages, some economic benefits can't be ignored. It is fair to highlight the overwhelming yield of an international market.Once more, the electric car remains a first-rate example.Electric vehicles consume electricity which is produced by fossil energy, an extremely polluting process that can't be hidden. In spite of that obvious fact, the population from all over the world is strongly encouraged to buy it.
To conclude
, international
cooperation
 features undoubtedly lots of advantages like establishing mandatory rules to preserve our environment,
however
, those decisions are often motivated by financial purposes.
Submitted by namoisma on

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coherence cohesion
While your essay is well-structured, try to make your ideas flow more logically. Make sure each paragraph clearly leads to the next.
coherence cohesion
To enhance your coherence, consider using more linking words to connect your ideas better.
task achievement
Attempt to provide more robust examples to substantiate your points, making your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively set the stage and summarize the discussion, providing clarity to your essay.
task achievement
Your response adequately addresses both perspectives of the issue, fulfilling the task requirements.
task achievement
The essay tackles a complex topic with a good level of detail, showing good understanding.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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