IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004
#consumption #fish #kinds #meat #european #country
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The line graph
illustrated
Wrong verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the expenditure
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 fish and several various kinds of meat by a European country from 1979 to 2004. Beginning with 1979, chicken was divided 150
Use synonyms
gramm
Correct your spelling
grams
 per person out and
this
Linking Words
 line rose gradually until 1994 at 200gramm to each consumer. The percentage of eating chicken held the top position with a considerably more 250
gramm
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 graph over the 10-year period.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the consumption of fish remained fairly stable between 1979 and 2004 and it was not seen an increase
more
Change preposition
of more
show examples
 than 50
Use synonyms
gramm
Correct your spelling
grams
 per person.
A
Correct article usage
The
show examples
 period in 1979 was
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 position for lamb because every European used it in
daily
Add an article
a daily
the daily
show examples
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
 with 150
Use synonyms
gramm
Correct your spelling
gramme
. In the middle of
Correct article usage
the 80s
show examples
80s
Add a comma
80s,
show examples
 the proportion of eating lamb declined
dramaticly
Correct your spelling
dramatically
 and the lowerest
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 was
singed
Correct your spelling
signed
show examples
 between 1999 and 2004. With regard to positive feedback, the products of
beef
Use synonyms
 might
be
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 considered quality and delicious during 1979 and 1986 through it was used 250
Use synonyms
gramm
Correct your spelling
grams
 by each individual. Which point should be marked over the graph is a line in 1989 because chicken and
beef
Use synonyms
 met each other at 200
gramm
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, a fall in the number of
beef
Use synonyms
 ratings in 1989 and 2004 reflects the fact that more people have negative responses to
beef
Use synonyms
 foods
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 these years.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words gramm, beef with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • fish
  • meat
  • poultry
  • beef
  • lamb
  • trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • gradual
  • significant
  • fluctuate
  • peak
  • trough
  • steady
  • correlation
  • period
  • data
  • comparison
  • predominant
  • kilograms per capita
  • dietary habits
  • health consciousness
  • sustainability
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