IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people argue that school is no longer necessary because children can obtain all of the information they need from the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #school #children #information #internet
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The ubiquity of software applications for learning new
skills
Use synonyms
 or languages is highly appreciated worldwide.
Therefore
Linking Words
, It is an argued issue whether education from learning institutes is as prominent as before as knowledge can be accessed from the internet now
while
Linking Words
 being at home. I completely disagree with the statement since schools not only provide the environment to enhance social
skills
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 impart strong morals to
students
Use synonyms
. Commencing with the most paramount reason to justify my disagreement, young ones develop their interpersonal
skills
Use synonyms
 provided that they study in the company of their peers.
Skills
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as cooperation, sharing, communication, teamwork, loyalty and reverence, are prerequisites of everyday walks of life, be it professional or personal which can only be learned with others rather than alone.
Hence
Linking Words
,
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
 provides a conducive environment for
proper
Correct article usage
the proper
show examples
 growth of pupils either it is mentally or physically and for the attainment of soft
skills
Use synonyms
. Another worth considering positive affix of going to school is the apparent delivery of knowledge. Owing to the garnered experience of tutors, they widely understand the learning environment of certain
students
Use synonyms
 and teach them adequately
while
Linking Words
 ensuring discipline.
This
Linking Words
 is not the case at home where persistent disruption is obvious and youngsters can be distracted by unnecessary websites. During the pandemic,
for example
Linking Words
, we saw evidence that
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
 were not able to concentrate on
the
Change the word
their
show examples
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
while
Linking Words
 being at residence
due to
Linking Words
 lockdown;
therefore
Linking Words
, many organizations prohibited the hiring of 2021 pass-out
students
Use synonyms
. It shows the significance of these institutes in one's life. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 the advancement of technology in education created more options for
students
Use synonyms
 to learn through the web, tutees are unlikely to acquire social
skills
Use synonyms
coupled with
Linking Words
 their enhanced comprehension unless schools are preferred for study.
Submitted by Gursharan910 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is expanded upon with supporting information. Avoid overgeneralization and strive for more specific examples that directly relate to your main points.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a clear logical sequence throughout the essay, using cohesive devices to help the reader follow your argument. Make sure each idea flows smoothly to the next, enhancing the overall clarity of your essay.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task by providing a balanced discussion and a clear opinion. Aim for a comprehensive response that covers the prompt's demands thoroughly.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more comprehensively. While you do present clear ideas, they can benefit from further expansion and analysis to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Include more relevant, specific examples that directly support your points to effectively illustrate your arguments and improve the persuasiveness of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: