In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Today,
There
are many Fix capitalization
there
people
tend
to escape Correct pronoun usage
who tend
Correct article usage
the coutryside
coutryside
and move into urban cities. Correct your spelling
countryside
Therefore
, it is argued that population
in rural areas is reducing considerably. I believe Correct article usage
the population
this
trend has negative effects as it would lead high
Change preposition
to high
demand
for accomadations
and Correct your spelling
accommodations
accommodation
environmemntal
problems like air Correct your spelling
environmental
polution
.
A shrinking population in Correct your spelling
pollution
coutryside
Correct your spelling
countryside
due to
shifting to cities can have a detrimental effect on high
Correct article usage
the high
demand
for residencies in town
Add an article
the town
area
. It can be noticeable that many Fix the agreement mistake
areas
people
come to city area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
due to
schooling and job perspectives.Therefore
, most of the time they move with their families and they want to stay in houses or apartments.If demand
for such
recidencies
is increased, the cost for Correct your spelling
residencies
residences
such
areas will also
increase and new apartments need to be constructed.Many city sides are not much
as spacious as Correct quantifier usage
apply
coutrysides
and Correct your spelling
countrysides
countryside
government
Correct article usage
the government
need
to provide Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
finace
to build new houses.
Correct your spelling
finance
On the other hand
, moving a large number of people
can cause negative impacts on environment
. In fact, If Add an article
the environment
people
move with their families, most of the time they will use their own vehicles. Therefore
, it is clear that
a
number of Change the article
the
vehicle
will increase and it Change to a plural noun
vehicles
would
adversely affect on environment. The environmental problem is exacerbated by air Wrong verb form
will
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
due to
combustion
of fuel.Correct article usage
the combustion
For example
, According to
the IQ air
website, Karachi in Pakistan is ranked as second Capitalize word
Air
as
Change preposition
in
unhealthy
category.
In conclusion, many Correct article usage
the unhealthy
people
reach to
urban areas from rural districts Change preposition
apply
due to
high school or university and professions
perspectives.I strongly believe it may cause Replace the word
professional
Correct article usage
a negatively
negatively
Change the word
negative
on
increase in Change preposition
apply
demand
for houses and worsen environmental problems. To adress
Correct your spelling
address
this
isssue
it is suggested that Correct your spelling
issue
coutriside
should be facilitated with industry and schools.Correct your spelling
countryside
Submitted by Praslah on
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task achievement
Focus on clearly stating your main idea in the introduction, with a clear thesis statement that directly addresses the question.
task achievement
Work on fully developing your main points with clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
task achievement
Include more relevant examples to support your points and explain them in greater detail to better illustrate your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical sequencing of ideas and paragraphs. Each new paragraph should have a clear link to the preceding one and the overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices (linking words, pronouns, etc.) appropriately to help the reader follow the argument more easily. Avoid overusing a particular cohesive device.
coherence cohesion
Check for spelling errors and typos to improve the professionalism of the essay. For instance, 'coutryside' should be 'countryside', 'accomadations' should be 'accommodations', and 'polution' should be 'pollution'.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example