You are interested in applying for a scholarship program to study at a foreign university. Write a letter to inquire about the course. In your letter: &Explain which course you are interested in. &Say what you know about the university. &Explain why you should receive the scholarship.

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to request additional information regarding the courses offered at your esteemed institution, as I am eager to apply for your scholarship program. I am particularly interested in the Baking and Pastry Arts Management course.
This
specialized program is not commonly available at many universities, which significantly heightens my interest, as I have long aspired to pursue a career as a professional pastry chef.
While
I have viewed numerous photographs online, I still seek a deeper understanding of the offerings and facilities at your institution. The primary details I have managed to gather pertain to the sports building, housing options, and the Student Association. I would greatly appreciate it if you could provide more comprehensive information regarding the course and other relevant aspects of the university. I believe I am a strong candidate for
this
scholarship
due to
my commendable academic performance.
Furthermore
, I have achieved success in numerous baking competitions and served as the captain of my school's swimming team. My educators and mentors have consistently spoken highly of my dedication and abilities. Thank you for considering my request. I hope to receive a favourable response soon. Yours faithfully, Kurbonov Arthur
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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Task Achievement
Your letter addresses the task well by explaining the course you are interested in, what you know about the university, and why you should receive the scholarship. To achieve an even higher score, include more specific information or questions about the course you are curious about. For instance, you could ask about course content, faculty qualifications, or internship opportunities.
Coherence and Cohesion
For stronger coherence and cohesion, consider linking paragraphs more smoothly. Use transitional phrases to ensure the letter flows more naturally from one idea to the next. For example, starting a paragraph with 'Moreover' or 'Furthermore' can help connect it to the previous one.
Coherence and Cohesion
The greeting and closing are appropriate and polite, which is suitable for this formal letter.
Coherence and Cohesion
Each paragraph focuses on a single idea, which helps in maintaining clarity and understanding.
Task Achievement
The tone of the writing is formal and respectful, fitting well with the purpose of the letter.
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