In a number of counties, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

It is thought that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
more higher amount of
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
country
Change noun form
country's
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budget should be invested
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
building new railways for fast trains
while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
are believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
that
this
money should be spent on
inhuncing
Correct your spelling
improving
current public transport. As far as I am concerned, repairing sometimes costs much
effort
Correct quantifier usage
more effort
show examples
and money than
constracting
Correct your spelling
constructing
contracting
new ones.
more
Rephrase
Moreover
show examples
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fast trains are
so
Rephrase
more
show examples
beneficial to
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
than others.
This
essay will
be argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
both views. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand, fast trains are much time
consuming
Verb problem
time-consuming
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rather than
other type
Change the wording
another type
other types
show examples
of transport and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can help people be more punctual
especially
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, especially
show examples
in big crowded cities.
In addition
, individuals can
be avoided
Wrong verb form
avoid
show examples
of
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apply
show examples
traffic jams which can result in air pollution
due to
Correct article usage
the considerably
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considerably
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considerable
show examples
number of cars on
routs
Correct your spelling
routes
show examples
and ways.
For instance
, numerous studies by scholars showed that
four wheel
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four-wheel
show examples
transportation, either personal car or even bus
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
contributed
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
more than one of two air pollution spills.
On the other hand
, as it can be a need to repair and
reconstruction
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reconstruct
show examples
prior methods, cannot be denied that
this
action might cause more and more money and labour supply
due to
the fact that those are out of order.
For example
, despite the fact that cars or cycles are more
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
, each of which can
be result
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result
show examples
in
delay
Fix the agreement mistake
delays
show examples
for appointments or any daily activity. In conclusion, to compare fast
railway
Fix the agreement mistake
railways
show examples
with other
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
and means of public transportation railway has had more benefits to citizens, owing to its high pace, and being
environmental
Change the adjective
environmentally
show examples
friendly.
Submitted by amirisoodabeh24 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on creating a clear logical structure with well-organized paragraphs that each cover a single main point. Use a range of cohesive devices effectively, such as conjunctions and referencing words, to ensure your ideas flow smoothly.
Task Achievement
For task achievement, ensure you address all parts of the prompt comprehensively by discussing both views and providing your stance clearly. Include more relevant, specific examples to support your points, and remember to clearly state your own opinion as the question requires.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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