Many people feel that attention spans are becoming shorter due to the prevalence of social media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, with
an
increasing development of technological advances individuals utilise devices like computers, phones and laptops more often compared to the past. Correct article usage
the
Consequently
, some argue that Linking Words
a
habit of using social media negatively affects people's concentration Correct article usage
the
whereas
others think the opposite. I truly agree with the former statement, and Linking Words
this
essay will explain why.
First and foremost, online interaction distracts an individual from essential activities causing troubles in the future. Participating in social Linking Words
neworks
can become an addictive activity which creates financial and educational difficulties, as the person Correct your spelling
networks
do
not have enough time to complete Change the verb form
does
work
or study tasks. Use synonyms
For example
, research has shown that online socialising for more than four hours a day leads to Linking Words
the
reluctant behaviour and Correct article usage
apply
lazyness
. Correct your spelling
laziness
As a result
, prioritising online interactions over Linking Words
work
and study will cause poor results and disconnection with Use synonyms
collegues
.
Correct your spelling
colleagues
Moreover
, some online platforms encourage their users to engage in games and online competitions. Gaming is another detrimental factor which adversely Linking Words
affect
not just Change the verb form
affects
work
, but Use synonyms
relationship
in the family. Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
For instance
, if the person spends most of the time playing computer games, it Linking Words
become
extremely hard to contribute spare time and energy to the activities with your loved Change the verb form
becomes
once
. Correct your spelling
ones
Therefore
, the lack of interaction with relatives results in family conflicts and even divorce.
In conclusion, even though social media offers great opportunities for Linking Words
entertaining
purposes, excessive use of digital devices negatively impacts Replace the word
entertainment
relationship
in a family, Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
sucess
at Correct your spelling
success
work
and study Use synonyms
accomplishment
.Fix the agreement mistake
accomplishments
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coherence cohesion
Make sure to structure your essay in a logical manner. Your introduction and conclusion are present, which is good but the body paragraphs could be better connected to each other. Provide clearer transitions between them.
task achievement
Your essay responds to the task, but the response could be more comprehensive. Ensure to address the question directly throughout the essay.
task achievement
Aim to support your main points with specific and relevant examples. Including research findings is good, but they should be more detailed to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
For coherence, consider beginning body paragraphs with clear topic sentences that clearly state the main idea you will discuss.
coherence cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures and use a mix of simple and complex sentences to improve the readability and flow of your essay.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.