Many people feel that attention spans are becoming shorter due to the prevalence of social media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, with

Correct article usage

the

show examples

increasing development of technological advances individuals utilise devices like computers, phones and laptops more often compared to the past.

Consequently

, some argue that

Correct article usage

the

show examples

habit of using social media negatively affects people's concentration

whereas

others think the opposite. I truly agree with the former statement, and

this

essay will explain why. First and foremost, online interaction distracts an individual from essential activities causing troubles in the future. Participating in social

neworks

Correct your spelling

networks

can become an addictive activity which creates financial and educational difficulties, as the person

Change the verb form

does

show examples

not have enough time to complete

work

or study tasks.

For example

, research has shown that online socialising for more than four hours a day leads to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

reluctant behaviour and

lazyness

Correct your spelling

laziness

As a result

, prioritising online interactions over

work

and study will cause poor results and disconnection with

collegues

Correct your spelling

colleagues

Moreover

, some online platforms encourage their users to engage in games and online competitions. Gaming is another detrimental factor which adversely

affect

Change the verb form

affects

show examples

not just

work

, but

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

in the family.

For instance

, if the person spends most of the time playing computer games, it

become

Change the verb form

becomes

show examples

extremely hard to contribute spare time and energy to the activities with your loved

once

Correct your spelling

ones

show examples

Therefore

, the lack of interaction with relatives results in family conflicts and even divorce. In conclusion, even though social media offers great opportunities for

entertaining

Replace the word

entertainment

show examples

purposes, excessive use of digital devices negatively impacts

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

in a family,

sucess

Correct your spelling

success

work

and study

accomplishment

Fix the agreement mistake

accomplishments

show examples

Submitted by innakireeva0101 on Tue Feb 06 2024

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coherence cohesion

Make sure to structure your essay in a logical manner. Your introduction and conclusion are present, which is good but the body paragraphs could be better connected to each other. Provide clearer transitions between them.

task achievement

Your essay responds to the task, but the response could be more comprehensive. Ensure to address the question directly throughout the essay.

task achievement

Aim to support your main points with specific and relevant examples. Including research findings is good, but they should be more detailed to strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

For coherence, consider beginning body paragraphs with clear topic sentences that clearly state the main idea you will discuss.

coherence cohesion

Try to vary your sentence structures and use a mix of simple and complex sentences to improve the readability and flow of your essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

242 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people feel that attention spans are becoming shorter due to the prevalence of social media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Word Count

Some people think that a person intellectual skill improving more when they doing group study.What extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In order to study effectively, it requires comfort, peace and time. So it is impossible for a student to combine learning and employment at the same time because one distracts the other. Is it realistic to combine them at the same time? Support your opinion with examples.