Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. sugary products should be made more expansive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people

The

food

component fructose is becoming a concerning point for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

Due to

the fact that many researches showed its detrimental

affects

Correct your spelling

effects

show examples

towards our

health

On the contrary

, various

food

and beverage manufacturers use

sugar

heavily for its savoury taste. In my opinion, increasing the price of

sugar

is a viable way to restrict

people

from consuming it and another way is to raise awareness among individuals of its harmful

affects

Replace the word

effects

show examples

According to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

various

health

researchers, fructose plays an important role in the taste

turning

Verb problem

making

show examples

the

food

delicious and satisfactory.

As a result

desert

Correct your spelling

dessert

show examples

is the most favourite part of a meal for many individuals.

However

, heavy consumption of various sugary

food

items

cause

Change the verb form

causes

show examples

us high blood

sugar

increase

Wrong verb form

increased

show examples

fat in our

body

etc.

Moreover

, high blood

sugar

effects

Replace the word

affects

show examples

our eyes,

bone

Correct word choice

and bone

show examples

health

and

disbalance

Fix the agreement mistake

disbalances

show examples

hormones in our

body

. Rising the portion of fat in our

body

parts,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

enhances the birth of another disastrous disease

cholestrol

Correct your spelling

cholesterol

As a consequence

such

health

disparities would

cause

Verb problem

cost

show examples

our valuable

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Therefore

rising

Correct your spelling

raising

show examples

the price of

sugar

would restrain

people

from consuming

sugar

and foster a healthy society. As a suggestion, the government should spread awareness among individuals of

sugar

's detrimental

affects

Correct your spelling

effects

show examples

on our

body

Fix the agreement mistake

bodies

show examples

. They should encourage

people

to use different available alternatives of

sugar

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

honey,

sugar

cane juice and maple syrup etc. These

ingradients

Correct your spelling

ingredients

are harvested naturally and contain various beneficial properties for our

health

. In conclusion, consuming any form of sugary

food

items

foster

Correct subject-verb agreement

fosters

show examples

health

disparities.

Hence

people

should restrain themselves from consumption of

such

types of

food

Moreover

, making

sugar

expansive

Correct your spelling

expensive

show examples

and spreading awareness among

people

would cultivate restrainment from fructose and foster a vibrant healthy society.

Submitted by nehakarmakar45 on Tue Feb 06 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should clearly state your position on the topic, the body paragraphs should each focus on a single main idea with supporting details, and the conclusion should summarize your argument and reiterate your position without introducing new ideas.

coherence cohesion

To improve logical structure, make sure each paragraph flows naturally from one to the next by using transitional phrases and clearly linking your points. This will create a more cohesive and compelling argument.

task achievement

Support your main points with specific examples. Examples serve to illustrate and give credence to your claims, so where you mention health defects or alternative sugar sources, be sure to provide concrete instances or cite reputable sources for enhanced credibility.

task achievement

Task achievement can be improved by fully addressing all parts of the prompt. Your essay should explore both the agreement/disagreement with making sugary products more expensive, as well as provide a clear argument with varied sentences and few to no grammatical errors.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

5.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. sugary products should be made more expansive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

What do you think are the main causes of inequality between rich and poor nations in the world? What can be done to reduce this gap? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbors and the sense of community is lost. Discuss the causes and give measures to turn it around.

People think that government should increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles to solve environmental problems. Give your opinion.

It is important for travelers and business people to understand the cultures they come into contact with. However, briefly. What are the main advantages of doing so? What do you think is the disadvantage of not doing so?

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.