IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Fresh water has become a global problem for the world. What are the causes of it? What measures government and individual should take to resolve the problem ? Give reasons and examples for your answer.

#water #world #measures #government
It is often believed that the other name for
water
 is life.
Hence
, the unavailability of fresh
water
 has been growing at an alarming rate across the globe over the years.
However
, to reduce
this
 cause, the individual and
government
 should take steps. The reasons for the problem and its solution and measures are articulated in the ensuing paragraphs.
To begin
 with, there are many reasons why freshwater has become a global issue all over the world. One possible reason is unplanned industrialization which is why chemical wastages produced by the factory are directly mixed with the river.
Secondly
, a large amount of fresh
water
 is wasted on household chores.
Thirdly
, we do not have a number of
water
 resources that can be used to store clean
water
 through the rain, which ends up in the ocean and
then
 not able to be used as drinking
water
.
Finally
, people are used to littering garbage which becomes a reason for
water
 contamination. To solve
this
 issue, a plethora of steps should be taken by the individual and
government
. The
government
 should impose a high penalty on the industries if they are dumping waste more than a fixed amount.
Moreover
, the authority should build more
water
 resources
such
 as a dam to store clean rainwater.
Furthermore
, the littering of garbage and plastic should be banned completely.
On the other hand
, an individual can keep the place clean and should reduce the waste of
water
 in daily work.
Additionally
, the
government
 may create mass awareness among the people about the importance of fresh
water
 in human life. In conclusion, there is no doubt that the amount of fresh
water
 diminishing day by day. But it can be curbed by taking effective steps by the
government
 and the citizens of the nation by imposing penalties and social awareness.
Submitted by faisalmahamood on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that paragraphs are clearly separated and that each paragraph has a clear main idea. Use connecting phrases to enhance the flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Present a clear introductory statement which addresses the question more directly. Similarly, ensure your conclusion summarizes your key points and relates back to the question.
task achievement
Expand on your main points by providing specific examples and evidence to support your arguments, thus enhancing the depth and clarity of your essay.
task achievement
To improve the essay's clarity and completeness, make sure to fully address all parts of the question and develop each point comprehensively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Overpopulation
  • Industrialization
  • Pollution
  • Climate change
  • Droughts
  • Agricultural practices
  • Infrastructure
  • Leakages
  • Efficient water usage
  • Over-extraction
  • Groundwater
  • Water tables
  • Water conservation
  • Regulation
  • Sustainable development
  • Rainwater harvesting
  • Desalination
  • Public awareness campaigns
  • Legislation
  • Water management
  • Water scarcity
  • Recycling
  • Reuse
  • Greywater systems
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