IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the diagram below shows the process of using water to produce electricity

the diagram below shows the process of using water to produce electricity
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The picture illustrates the production of
water
Use synonyms
-based
electricity
Use synonyms
 with assistance from the
hydro-electric
Correct your spelling
hydroelectric
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 generator. It can be seen that the process of making
electricity
Use synonyms
 from
water
Use synonyms
 consists of six processes, which are initiated from the
water
Use synonyms
 cycle until its distribution to several facilities.
First,
Linking Words
the heat from the sun makes sea
water
Use synonyms
 evaporate and create clouds.
Then
Linking Words
, the cold temperatures make the cloud condensate, until it precipitates into the
water
Use synonyms
 droplets, which will be stored in the dam. Once the
water
Use synonyms
Add a missing verb
is adequates
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adequates
Replace the word
adequate
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, the valve will be opened to send the
water
Use synonyms
 into the turbine,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 produces two types of outcomes. The successfully converted
water
Use synonyms
 will be delivered to the towers in the form of
electricity
Use synonyms
 power meanwhile, the remaining
water
Use synonyms
 will be pumped back to the reservoir via a pump machine. The
electricity
Use synonyms
 power
then
Linking Words
 flows through the cables which end up in the transformer station and will be distributed to several facilities,
such
Linking Words
 as factories, schools, hospitals, and houses in the next process.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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