IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The threat of nuclear weapons maintains the world peace. The benefits of nuclear technology far out-weight the disadvantages.

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It is often considered that the threat of nuclear explosions maintains the
nation
Change noun form
nation's
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 peace.
Linking Words
Whereas
Correct word choice
However
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, in some cases,
this
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 technology can be dangerous for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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mankind.
Thus
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,
this
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 essay will elaborate on both positive and negative sides which
further
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 leads to a logical conclusion. Commencing, in the
comtemporary
Correct your spelling
contemporary
 era, crime rates are rising in the cities and in between the countries
although
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 it is mandatory to keep
weapons
Use synonyms
 ready to handle every situation.
However
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, explosive
weapons
Use synonyms
 are
also
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 beneficial to make fear in
terrorist
Fix the agreement mistake
terrorists
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 so they do not get
influence
Wrong verb form
influenced
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in
Change preposition
by
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 terror
attack
Fix the agreement mistake
attacks
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.
For instance
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,
last
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 year there was an attack between Russia and Ukarane in which Russia
wins
Wrong verb form
won
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 as they were prepared very well with various kinds of explosive technologies,
whille
Correct your spelling
while
 Ukarane did not contain enough
weapons
Use synonyms
. Probing ahead, there are manyfold drawbacks of having the
war heads
Correct your spelling
warheads
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 because when it explodes, it covers vast local area, which includes the living of
innocent
Add an article
the innocent
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population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
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 and unnecessarily they will
hurt
Add a missing verb
be hurt
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from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 that nuclear bomb.
Moreover
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, the explosive bomb
in contrast
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, if comes in
wrong
Add an article
the wrong
show examples
hand
Fix the agreement mistake
hands
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,
then
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 they will use it abusively and
additionally
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, they can use it for their personal purposes.
For instance
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, in Delhi,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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explosives are
selling
Wrong verb form
sold
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 in an unauthorised manner and it might be
a
Change the article
apply
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detrimental
for
Change preposition
to
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 the populace
and
Correct word choice
apply
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Delhi is
the
Correct article usage
a
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 city
of
Change preposition
with
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higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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 crime
rates
Fix the agreement mistake
rate
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. In a nutshell, the government should
passes
Change the verb form
pass
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 laws against the purchase of nuclear bombs, and if
illegally
Change the word
illegal
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 marketing is done
then
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 federal officials should make
fine
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fines
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 or
penalities
Correct your spelling
penalties
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 to these persons.
Instead
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 of using these war
weapons
Use synonyms
 in urban and rural areas,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 should be utilized in the
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
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.

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task achievement
Ensure you fully address all parts of the task. In this case, discuss how nuclear technology maintains world peace as well as its benefits and disadvantages.
task achievement
Work on presenting a clear position throughout the response, avoiding contradictions and ensuring consistent argumentation.
coherence cohesion
Include a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to better express your ideas and enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Organize ideas more logically, with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting sentences.
task achievement
Use specific examples that directly support your argument. The examples should be relevant and illustrate the points you are making.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and punctuation, as these errors can make your essay hard to understand. Proofreading your essay after writing can help catch and correct these mistakes.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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