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Band 4

The threat of nuclear weapons maintains the world peace. The benefits of nuclear technology far out-weight the disadvantages.

#threat #weapons #world #peace #technology #out-weight
It is often considered that the threat of nuclear explosions maintains the
nation
Change noun form
nation's
show examples
 peace.
Whereas
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, in some cases,
this
 technology can be dangerous for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mankind.
Thus
,
this
 essay will elaborate on both positive and negative sides which
further
 leads to a logical conclusion. Commencing, in the
comtemporary
Correct your spelling
contemporary
 era, crime rates are rising in the cities and in between the countries
although
 it is mandatory to keep
weapons
 ready to handle every situation.
However
, explosive
weapons
 are
also
 beneficial to make fear in
terrorist
Fix the agreement mistake
terrorists
show examples
 so they do not get
influence
Wrong verb form
influenced
show examples
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 terror
attack
Fix the agreement mistake
attacks
show examples
.
For instance
,
last
 year there was an attack between Russia and Ukarane in which Russia
wins
Wrong verb form
won
show examples
 as they were prepared very well with various kinds of explosive technologies,
whille
Correct your spelling
while
 Ukarane did not contain enough
weapons
. Probing ahead, there are manyfold drawbacks of having the
war heads
Correct your spelling
warheads
show examples
 because when it explodes, it covers vast local area, which includes the living of
innocent
Add an article
the innocent
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population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
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 and unnecessarily they will
hurt
Add a missing verb
be hurt
show examples
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 that nuclear bomb.
Moreover
, the explosive bomb
in contrast
, if comes in
wrong
Add an article
the wrong
show examples
hand
Fix the agreement mistake
hands
show examples
,
then
 they will use it abusively and
additionally
, they can use it for their personal purposes.
For instance
, in Delhi,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
explosives are
selling
Wrong verb form
sold
show examples
 in an unauthorised manner and it might be
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
detrimental
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the populace
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Delhi is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 city
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 crime
rates
Fix the agreement mistake
rate
show examples
. In a nutshell, the government should
passes
Change the verb form
pass
show examples
 laws against the purchase of nuclear bombs, and if
illegally
Change the word
illegal
show examples
 marketing is done
then
 federal officials should make
fine
Fix the agreement mistake
fines
show examples
 or
penalities
Correct your spelling
penalties
show examples
 to these persons.
Instead
 of using these war
weapons
 in urban and rural areas,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 should be utilized in the
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
show examples
.
Submitted by vermarohit981.rv on

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task achievement
Ensure you fully address all parts of the task. In this case, discuss how nuclear technology maintains world peace as well as its benefits and disadvantages.
task achievement
Work on presenting a clear position throughout the response, avoiding contradictions and ensuring consistent argumentation.
coherence cohesion
Include a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to better express your ideas and enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Organize ideas more logically, with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting sentences.
task achievement
Use specific examples that directly support your argument. The examples should be relevant and illustrate the points you are making.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and punctuation, as these errors can make your essay hard to understand. Proofreading your essay after writing can help catch and correct these mistakes.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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