In the 21st century, many women have come out of their home to become what we call working women. What are the advantages and disadvantages of women doing work?
At present
women
has
reached Correct subject-verb agreement
have
a
equal positionChange the article
an
comparing
to men in all Wrong verb form
compared
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
working
sectors, it took Change preposition
of working
over
centuries to uplift their individuality to contribute to the wellness of society but Change preposition
apply
its
has both advantages and disadvantages. Both Change the pronoun
it
the
views will be discussed briefly below.
Correct article usage
apply
To begin
with benefits,first of all , women
have contributed in
all kinds of Change preposition
to
industry
even they have marked their presence in Politics,sports,aviation and in army too. It has a way more positive side ,where they don’t need to depend on men for their basic Fix the agreement mistake
industries
need
of a human Fix the agreement mistake
needs
such
as food,shelter and clothing . To explain this
, a girl working in a private company will rely only on her work for his survival.
Furthermore
, a coin has both side
,likely,working Change to a plural noun
sides
women
has
some drawbacks too.Namely , when they are treated equally to males in their workspace ,in parallel, Change the verb form
have
Correct article usage
the work-load
work-load
is in Correct your spelling
workload
a
equilibrium state. By that condition she has to spend her energy to accomplish her Change the article
an
work-load
, Correct your spelling
workload
in addition
, she has to take care of business in
home.Change preposition
at
As a result
, in a period of time
her health will face a downtrend. To demonstrate, Add a comma
time,
women
in IT has to work 12 hours straight Fix the agreement mistake
woman
then
Correct word choice
and then
spends
time Correct subject-verb agreement
spend
in
soothing her baby , which makes her weak at Change preposition
apply
a
early age.
In conclusion, nothing comes without making sacrifices , in my Change the article
an
perspective
individual has to choose Add a comma
perspective,
weather
to work or not.Correct your spelling
whether
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Logical Structure
Ensure that each paragraph has one clear main idea, and use appropriate paragraphs to separate different ideas.
Introduction & Conclusion
Include a clear introduction stating the topic and your thesis, and a conclusion summarizing your points and restating your thesis.
Supported Main Points
Support main points with clear explanations and relevant examples. Develop each point thoroughly before moving to the next.
Complete Response
Address all parts of the task, ensuring you discuss both advantages and disadvantages equally. Make sure your response answers the question directly, and that you develop your points sufficiently.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
Express your ideas clearly and ensure they are easy to understand. Use linking words to improve the flow of your essay.
Relevant & Specific Examples
Include specific examples to substantiate your arguments. Make sure these examples are directly relevant to your points and the essay topic.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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