Some people believe that education is important to get jobs while others believe it its experience and skills. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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It is argued that education and having a
certificate
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
significant to achieve occupations,
whereas
other
people
, including me, think that having some knowledge
such
as experience and ability is more important than
you have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
a
certificate
. If you have skills, you can be a brand in your field. On the one hand, whether you show your ability,
people
know you as a fundamental person and everyone
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
to have you in their company. In
addtition
Correct your spelling
addition
, you always have some opportunities to get a job
due to
your high knowledge and your experience.
For instance
, if you are a good programmer in spite of the fact that you do not have any
academy
Replace the word
academic
show examples
certificate
.
Moreover
, with
advancement
Add an article
the advancement
show examples
of
technology
Add a comma
technology,
show examples
a large amount of sites are available for you to earn a task that you want. You carry out what
people
want
then
you
achieve
Verb problem
earn
show examples
your money.
Furthermore
, you can decide better in view of your experiences. When you know about substantial things in your major, you can determine well between negative and positive choices in your field.
On the other hand
, it is conspicuous when you have
well-known
Add an article
a well-known
the well-known
show examples
certificate
, the
posibility
Correct your spelling
possibility
of getting a job will
getting
Change the form of the verb
get
show examples
higher.
However
, nowadays various popular departments do not focus on what grade you have, they emphasize
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how
authority
Correct quantifier usage
much authority
show examples
you have in your
occuapation
Correct your spelling
occupation
.
Also
, several sites were made
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
people
post their requests and you can do their requests and
then
earn your money.
Therefore
, is not a considerable thing that you have
a
Change the article
an
show examples
amazing grade to find a position. In conclusion, some folk believe that having a proper and suitable
certificate
can
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
you a lot to
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
a job.
Nevertheless
, others, including me, suppose that
certificate
Correct article usage
a certificate
show examples
is not essential for earning a position. If you have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sufficient experience and ability you always can earn money because many important factories do not
Add a missing verb
have that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
focus
as well as
before.
Submitted by bazarjanimohammadreza83 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure logical sequencing of ideas and use a variety of linking words to better connect your sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Develop main points fully by expanding upon them with further explanation or specific examples to strengthen arguments.
task achievement
Present clear and comprehensive ideas, making sure each paragraph has a central theme that is elaborated on.
task achievement
Include a balanced discussion of both views, providing equal development for each perspective before stating your own opinion.
task achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to support your points, which can be from personal experience, current affairs, or general knowledge.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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