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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that children should only read academic books. Others believe that reading books for pleasure is equally important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It has been confirmed that reading
books
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 at a young age is beneficial for cognitive development and language acquisition. Some people debate whether
children
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 should focus only on academic
books
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 or if it would be more convenient to
also
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 read works of fiction. Even though reading in general is great for kids, I think it would be best for them to have equal access to academic and fiction literature. Academic
books
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 are fundamental for acquiring new knowledge of different subjects. They are specifically designed to make learning fun and easy for all ages.
This
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 is why teachers base their classes on them. In fact, in some subjects, they are the only source of information.
For example
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, textbooks used to teach math and physics contain all the information and exercises necessary to learn the content of the course. Academic
books
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 are a key part of the learning process and will continue to be.
However
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, reading at an early age shouldn't be limited to academic
books
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. Other types of reading, like fiction, are
also
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 as important when it comes to a child's healthy development. Take
for instance
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children
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's
books
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, where values and morals are taught through lively characters.
Furthermore
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, since it's a much more fun way of learning, many teachers complement their lectures with these types of
books
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.
This
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 keeps the students fully engaged and interested in the subject,
as well as
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 makes them interiorize the information taught more easily. In conclusion,
books
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 play a big part in shaping
children
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 into the adults the world needs.
While
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 academic
books
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 are necessary to learn about complex topics
such
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 as mathematics and science, non-academic reading is helpful in teaching kids important life values and morals. Making both academic and non-academic
books
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 equally as important for
children
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 to read
while
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 growing up.

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task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is expanded upon with examples or further explanation. Although the essay introduces relevant points, the argument could be enhanced with more specific examples to illustrate the benefits of both academic and fiction reading for children.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the flow of ideas to make sure the essay easily leads the reader from one point to the next within and between paragraphs. Transitions could be smoother and more varied in order to guide the reader more seamlessly through your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, but it could be improved by more clearly stating your personal opinion and explaining why you hold that view based on the arguments provided in the essay.
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