IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages ?

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Nowadays,most of individuals believe that there are many problems in life ,
hence
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, they say if you need something,you can take a peril in both their private
lives
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 and careers.Definetly taking a risk has it's own merits and drawbacks alike,but in my perspective,the advantages outweight the disadvantages. In
this
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 essay,I will explain the strength and weakness
this
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 issues. On the one hand,many people for reaching many things in their
lives
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 need to make an important decision that without
risks
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 are not possible,they allow humans to push toward their purpose in the future,some oppourtunies in our occupation require a peril in their
lives
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,
for instance
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:
last
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 year my friend quit to his job at our office because he had undesirable collegues who sometimes made them demotivated,
therefore
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 he was reciuited by another company,despite the lower salary compared to the first company but he got exposed to numerous experincese that he had never encounter previousely including,conferances with goverment,participating in important meetings and earning a best oppourtunites to imporve and enhance his skills.
On the other hand
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,some individuals are scared to loss something,they like to live without advantures life,it is correct if human are not aware of taking
risks
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 that can lead to cause difficulties and problems in
lives
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 and it causing unfavorable complicated situation in future,
for example
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:my husband was determinated to earn money by exchangeing digital currency ,
thus
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 ,he sold his own mac book and ex smatphone without consulting me ,
as a result
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 he failed in
this
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 project.His main mistake was that he was very self- confident and self- voting now he has loss all the money. In conculusion:
although
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 taking
risks
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 in both personal and profesional life is dangerous to some extend,
while
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,in my opinion people have to take
risks
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 which to reach many things in the future,For all the reasons above, the benefits of having an adventurous mind outweigh its drawbacks.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your ideas flow logically from one paragraph to the next. You can achieve this by using linking words and phrases.
task achievement
Make sure to clearly define your standpoint in the introduction. This will help create a stronger argument throughout your essay.
language usage
Double-check for grammatical errors and punctuation mistakes to improve the overall quality of your writing.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points, which enhances your argument.
task achievement
Your introduction presents a clear opinion on the topic, which is essential in argumentative essays.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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