Some children spend every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Modern children's minds have been exposed to additional technological pressure over the
last
decade, especially with mobile phones. There are different points of view on the issue. Some believe that the pros greatly outweigh the drawbacks. Despite the potential benefits, it is agreed that spending so much time with smartphones tends to be a negative development. This
essay will shed some light on the main reasons for phones' popularity and provide examples to support the thesis.
To begin
with, modern mobile phones are not only a means of communication but a wide-opened window to the technological world. For instance
, according to
the open data, the average smartphone these days has fifty-plus applications installed. Present-day offspring watch videos on YouTube, have chats on Instagram and Facebook and enhance their knowledge on Udemy and Coursera. Together, all these apps create a vast universe which is extremely attractive to wards, and addictive scrolling mechanisms only make matters worse.
Unfortunately, the excessive affection for contemporary tech advancements takes its toll on kids' health and body development. For example
, according to
a study conducted at the University of North Carolina, modern children experience seventy-five per cent more cases connected with obesity and back pain issues before the age of twelve compared with their peers fourteen years ago. Moreover
, researchers found a 0.71 correlation in the data and proposed the hypothesis about negative pressure on young people's health. Although
correlation is not causation, a strong tendency can be observed.
To sum up
, cutting-edge telephones provide numerous opportunities for content consumption, education and communication with friends and family but take offspring's health in return. Given the aforementioned facts, the disadvantages of using smartphones by kids outweigh all positive development. It is recommended that some measures must be developed to protect people's descendants in the future.Submitted by 8453525 on
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task achievement
Ensure that examples used are more specific and directly related to the arguments presented to strengthen your position and provide clarity.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, connect your ideas more smoothly by varying your use of cohesive devices and ensuring clear logical progression between sentences.
coherence cohesion
For a higher score in cohesion, use a wider range of linking words and phrases to show more complex relationships between ideas.
task achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the task equally to maintain a balanced response, which can enhance task achievement.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
