IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

the graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014 summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

the graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014 summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph illustrates
average
Add an article
the average
an average
show examples
 change in the rate of copper, nickel and zink during the year 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, all three metal prices fluctuated during each
month
Use synonyms
 of the year 2014.
However
Linking Words
, during the initial 4-5
months
Use synonyms
 period
price
Use synonyms
 fluctuated above the average of
last
Linking Words
month
Use synonyms
's percentage, and below during the next 4-5
months
Use synonyms
, followed again by a rose in the
last
Linking Words
 2
months
Use synonyms
. in detail, nickel
Use synonyms
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 fluctuated highest in the
month
Use synonyms
 of January achieving 6% above the average of
last
Linking Words
month
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, that trend reduced drastically during the next 2
months
Use synonyms
 period to achieve only a 1% difference from the
last
Linking Words
month
Use synonyms
 at the beginning of
march
Capitalize word
March
show examples
 2014.
Thereaftre
Correct your spelling
Thereafter
, with a
month
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 steady rate at 1% ,its
price
Use synonyms
 again dropped to achieve the lowest of all time, -3% in the
month
Use synonyms
 of July, and by the mid of
Octomber
Correct your spelling
October
, it wasn't recovered the 0% mark .
On the other hand
Linking Words
, copper
price
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 followed the same trend as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nickel with fewer fluctuations. Meanwhile, zinc elicited the least fluctuations of the three to maintain its
price
Use synonyms
 above the 0% mark
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
most of the
months
Use synonyms
 in the year .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, last".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words month, months, price with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "change" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 5 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: