A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your locality. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory establishment? Explain your position.

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In modern times, It is probably true that

competition

Use synonyms

is inevitable progress in education.

Competition

Use synonyms

gives the best outcomes

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but sometimes shows the worst results. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will examine how

this

Linking Words

trend brings about both benefits and drawbacks. One of the main advantages of trying to be better than compansions is assistance to developing society and personnel.

That is

Linking Words

to say, The more competitive they are and the more they want to do well, the better their skills will improve.

For example

Linking Words

, in high school in South Korea, students are graded on the scale of their studies, owing to

this

Linking Words

, children always compare their scale to peers and have a desire to grow than before.

For

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason, they try to study harder.

However

Linking Words

, if everyone in society were eager to beat someone

then

Linking Words

collaboration, I believe

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

would have a harmful effect on both individuals and the nation. If they learn only

competition

Use synonyms

throughout the entire study period, it means they don't learn how to interact, care, and cooperate with others, and it will have a negative impact on their social life as adults.

In addition

Linking Words

Change preposition

apply

show examples

, they feel blue or have low self-esteem easily because of comparing to peers.

For instance

Linking Words

, young people feel like they are not good enough because they are always focusing on what others are doing better. In conclusion, it is certain people benefit from competing with others.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, from my perspective, the negative consequences are too significant to disregard.

Thus

Linking Words

, it would be a good idea for the school to teach both

competition

Use synonyms

and cooperation so that everyone could learn more balanced thoughts in life.

dlwltn6615Sun Mar 31 2024

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Task Achievement

Try to more clearly state your opinion from the beginning of the essay. This helps to immediately guide reader's expectations.

Task Achievement

Ensure that your introduction aligns with the essay topic. It appears there was a misunderstanding about the prompt regarding factory establishment versus competition in education.

Coherence & Cohesion

Work on transitioning seamlessly between paragraphs and ideas. Using cohesive devices like 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' and 'On the other hand' can aid in this.

Coherence & Cohesion

Consider revisiting punctuation usage, especially the use of commas and periods. This assists in making your sentences clearer and aids in overall reading fluidity.

Task Achievement

Good use of examples to support your points, especially regarding the impact of competition in South Korea.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay structure (introduction, body paragraphs, conclusion) is well adhered to, helping the overall organization of the content.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

local economy
economic activity
employment opportunities
infrastructure
environmental impact
ecosystems
traffic congestion
property values
industrial aesthetic
rejuvenate
quality of life
pollution
wildlife habitats
suppliers
contractors
influx

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A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your locality. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory establishment? Explain your position.

The first smartphone was released in 1992. By then year 2020 there may be as many as 2.5 billion smartphones in the world. The use of smartphones is decreasing our collective intelligence because we are reliant on the technology and not our own minds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You have purchased a product on a website and received a different product. Write a letter to the company. In your letter – Describe the product you ordered – Explain why you aren’t satisfied with the product you received – Let them know what actions you expect them to take

Many people believe that watching a live performance is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays people use social media to keep in touch with others and be aware of the news. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Films and computer games which contain violence are very popular. Some people believe they have a negative effect on society and so should be banned. Other people, however, say they are just harmless and help people to relax. Discuss both views and give your own opinion