The pie charts below show the selected causes of death as a percentage of all deaths of registered Indians and the total population in 1992.

The pie charts below show the selected causes of death as a percentage of all deaths of registered Indians and the total population in 1992.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie chart details information about several factors
Correct pronoun usage
that lead
show examples
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
to the mortality rate of Indians in 1922 by different categories. There are 19,548 population of the people. From an
overall
Linking Words
perspective, it is readily apparent that
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
show examples
occurance
Correct your spelling
occurrence
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
the often issue
while
Linking Words
heart disease
affected
Add a missing verb
is affected
show examples
the least. The highest proportion of the figures were
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
show examples
accounting
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
44.19%. The second place lies on other
circumtances
Correct your spelling
circumstances
that have not been studied for 26.402% . Followed
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
the rate of homicide and suicide, 13.91% and 8.109% respectively. Two other problems that happened to
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
the same effects were cancer and heart disease. These health issues caused someone's deaths in the number of 5.23% and 2.058%.
Submitted by cyruziqa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographics
  • mortality rates
  • cardiovascular diseases
  • neoplasms (cancers)
  • chronic diseases
  • infectious diseases
  • statistical significance
  • preventable causes
  • health disparities
  • lifestyle factors
  • epidemiological data
  • public health
  • socioeconomic factors
  • medical conditions
  • healthcare access
What to do next:
Look at other essays: