Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

The argument about whether advertisements influence consumer’s purchasing decisions has been gaining momentum across the world in recent times.
While
it is believed by some people that customers make unnecessary buying because of it, others are of the view that promotions are helpful to find out the produce that can be helpful in making life convenient. On the one hand,
while
shopping, shoppers may buy articles that have higher recall value because of the marketing. The main reason is that users associate them with a person who is promoting the product.
In addition
, bulk deals are presented as value or money savings deals.
For example
, purchasers buy 5 items and spend 5 times more money in buying a deal that
otherwise
was not necessary.
Furthermore
, they are marketed by celebrities who make claims about positive usage only. As an outcome, some mankind think it promotes unnecessary buying.
However
,
on the other hand
, merchandise publicity is a prominent method for marketers to create awareness about new items. The primary factor is that the new and innovative stock advertised on television and in newspapers could be helpful in changing someone's life. Another factor is that if there is no broadcasting of new business prices,
then
it may lead humans to purchase expensive products.
For instance
, a robotic vacuum solved the problem of many busy adults. Imagine, not knowing about
this
innovation through online marketing can exclude the folks who really need it.
As a consequence
, it is argued by many the importance of media and its benefits. In summary, following analysis of both sides,
it is clear that
endorsements by well-known people lead to excessive buying. It is predicted that the development will continue to grow as advertisements affect customers buying behaviour.
Submitted by rbtech65 on

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task achievement
The essay presents both viewpoints and a conclusion. However, it should have a stronger, clearer position statement indicating which viewpoint the writer agrees with, as per the prompt requirement. Include this explicitly in the introduction and the conclusion.
task achievement
The main points need more support with clear, relevant examples. Instead of hypothetical ones, real-life examples or studies should be used where possible to illustrate the arguments more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
The essay's structure could be improved by ensuring a clear progression of ideas. The current logical flow is somewhat muddled, and ideas could be better connected with more effective use of cohesive devices.
coherence and cohesion
Maintain a more consistent academic tone by avoiding colloquial expressions and ensuring proper word choice ('mankind' is a bit archaic, 'humans' or 'people' is more appropriate). Aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and syntactical structures.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • persuade
  • manipulative
  • unnecessary
  • excessive
  • artificial needs
  • desires
  • consumers
  • oversaturation
  • impulse buying
  • financial problems
  • inform
  • educate
  • features
  • benefits
  • innovations
  • raise awareness
  • social issues
  • positive behavior
  • enrich
  • well-being
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