Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of the public health, government should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the modern era, there have been accompanying issues with smoking which can be a considerable cause of severe physical
health
issues. There are some
people
who believe that accepting smoking tobacco products including cigarettes should be regulated by
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
government
as
this
increases a massive risk for society members in indirect smoking including
children
.
However
,
this
can be considered as overstepping if a law might be established at the
government
level.
For
this
reason, I have different viewpoints from them. First of all,
this
is undeniable that smoking behaviour has a number of negative impacts on public
health
, especially the young generation.
This
is
due to
the fact that young
people
might be exposed to harmful places where adults smoke regardless if there are
children
around them.
Although
young individuals under a certain age
such
as 18 are still restricted from smoking cigarettes, they cannot be free from other adults' impacts.
This
would have an enormous impact on
children
's physical
health
. As a severe example,
children
who have parents smoking might have a high possibility of having severe cancers which can be caused by indirect experience of smoking from their parents.
Nonetheless
,
although
this
is a significant issue for
children
's
health
, most governments in the world have not put any regulations on selling, buying, and smoking tobacco-related products.
This
is because governments cannot limit all-grown individuals' choices in the light of human rights. In the UN's human rights
declralation
Correct your spelling
declaration
, the sentence can be found that governments should respect individuals' choices.
For
this
reason, creating new rules in society would lead to
people
's voices who disagree and resist the
government
which might bring different social issues to the public.
On the other hand
, the
government
always carry their responsibility to minimise harm to
people
who do not smoke
such
as
children
and non-smokers among adults by legally appointing smoke-free areas or smoking areas for public
health
.
To conclude
, it cannot be marginalised that smoking and selling cigarettes might bring an undeniable issue, especially among young peers.
However
,
this
should not be neglected that restricting smoking with the regulation might infringe human rights standing against respecting
people
's choices which I am partly in the same vein.
Submitted by yeseulyou92 on

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task achievement
Ensure a clear position throughout your essay, avoiding contradictory statements that can confuse the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and topic-specific vocabulary to enhance clarity and coherence.
task achievement
Develop arguments more fully with specific examples and explanations to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Work on paragraph structure, ensuring that each one has a clear main idea and flows logically to the next.
task achievement
Include a more definitive conclusion that summarizes your viewpoint and the main arguments presented in the essay.

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