IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that youngsters should be required to have full-timw education until they are at least 18 years odl. What extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Some
indviduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 agree that
student
Use synonyms
 should
skeep studing
Correct your spelling
keep studying
 for full
fime
Correct your spelling
until
 up to 18 years old ,
this
Linking Words
 essay
agree
Change the verb form
agrees
show examples
 with
this
Linking Words
 idea because
this
Linking Words
 will help them get higher chances at good
colleges
Use synonyms
 and it
also
Linking Words
contribute
Change the verb form
contributes
show examples
 to their personal growth .
Body paragraph 1
on
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand ,
been
Change the form of the verb
being
show examples
a
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
student
Use synonyms
 means that young people will have more
time
Use synonyms
 to study the subjects that they may struggle with like math and
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
, having more full
time
Use synonyms
 to study
thouse
Correct your spelling
those
these
 subjects
as a result
Linking Words
 they will
prepear
Correct your spelling
prepare
 better for and
optin
Correct your spelling
obtain
option
 higher
greads
Correct your spelling
grades
grads
 so they can
assly
Correct your spelling
easily
 join the
colleges
Use synonyms
 they wish to join .
for example
Linking Words
 in some countries
coureses
Correct your spelling
courses
 like
medicin
Correct your spelling
medicine
required
Wrong verb form
require
show examples
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
student
Use synonyms
finish
Fix the infinitive
to finish
show examples
 high school
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 until they are 18 .
Body paragraph 2
On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
studing modle
Correct your spelling
studying model
 until 18 means that the
student
Use synonyms
 would have more
time
Use synonyms
 to grow in
self confidence
Add a hyphen
self-confidence
show examples
 and in their schools
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because they will
speend
Correct your spelling
spend
 more
time
Use synonyms
 around the
invironment
Correct your spelling
environment
 that they are familiar with for extra
time
Use synonyms
befor
Correct your spelling
before
 moving on to a new
invironment
Correct your spelling
environment
,
this
Linking Words
 is to say that by the
time
Use synonyms
 they are moving to
colleges
Use synonyms
 they are ready mentaly and emotinaly to go through out
this
Linking Words
 new experince ,
for instance
Linking Words
student
Use synonyms
 who join
colleges
Use synonyms
 at older ages like 18 semes more happy in compear to younger agers like 16 or 17.
Conclusion
In conclusion
Add a comma
,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 strongly
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 schooling until 18 years old is better
methoud
Correct your spelling
method
 because it will increase the
Use synonyms
student
Change noun form
student's
show examples
 chance
to get
Change preposition
of getting
show examples
 better
scoures
Correct your spelling
scores
sources
also
Linking Words
 it helps their own
self confidence
Add a hyphen
self-confidence
show examples
 to grow more .

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Spelling & Vocabulary
Be sure to check your essay for spelling errors, as misspellings can hinder understanding and detract from the overall quality of your writing. For example, instead of 'skeep' use 'keep', 'prepear' should be 'prepare', and 'optin' should be 'obtain'. Aim to spell words correctly to convey your points clearly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use cohesive devices appropriately to link your ideas more effectively. Phrases like 'on one hand' and 'on the other hand' are good but ensure they are followed by balanced arguments. Consider using a wider range of linking words to enhance the logical flow of the essay.
Task Achievement
Develop and support your main points more fully. Provide clear and detailed examples and explanations for each point you make, to add depth to your arguments and effectively address the task.
Structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction and a conclusion. The introduction should establish your thesis statement and outline the structure of your essay. The conclusion should summarise your main points and reaffirm your thesis.
Essay Structure
Aim to structure your essay into clear paragraphs, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each body paragraph should have a central idea, which should be explained and supported by evidence.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • full-time education
  • qualifications
  • social inequalities
  • academic paths
  • disengaged
  • drop-out rates
  • workforce
  • skilled workforce
  • knowledge-based economy
  • career decisions
  • psychological effects
  • mental health issues
  • a diverse range of
  • mandatory education
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