Some people believe that youngsters should be required to have full-timw education until they are at least 18 years odl. What extent do you agree or disagree?

Some
indviduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
agree that
student
should
skeep studing
Correct your spelling
keep studying
for full
fime
Correct your spelling
until
up to 18 years old ,
this
essay
agree
Change the verb form
agrees
show examples
with
this
idea because
this
will help them get higher chances at good
colleges
and it
also
contribute
Change the verb form
contributes
show examples
to their personal growth . on
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand ,
been
Change the form of the verb
being
show examples
a
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
student
means that young people will have more
time
to study the subjects that they may struggle with like math and
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
, having more full
time
to study
thouse
Correct your spelling
those
these
subjects
as a result
they will
prepear
Correct your spelling
prepare
better for and
optin
Correct your spelling
obtain
option
higher
greads
Correct your spelling
grades
grads
so they can
assly
Correct your spelling
easily
join the
colleges
they wish to join .
for example
in some countries
coureses
Correct your spelling
courses
like
medicin
Correct your spelling
medicine
required
Wrong verb form
require
show examples
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
student
finish
Fix the infinitive
to finish
show examples
high school
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
until they are 18 . On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hand
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
studing modle
Correct your spelling
studying model
until 18 means that the
student
would have more
time
to grow in
self confidence
Add a hyphen
self-confidence
show examples
and in their schools
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because they will
speend
Correct your spelling
spend
more
time
around the
invironment
Correct your spelling
environment
that they are familiar with for extra
time
befor
Correct your spelling
before
moving on to a new
invironment
Correct your spelling
environment
,
this
is to say that by the
time
they are moving to
colleges
they are ready mentaly and emotinaly to go through out
this
new experince ,
for instance
student
who join
colleges
at older ages like 18 semes more happy in compear to younger agers like 16 or 17. In conclusion
Add a comma
,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
strongly
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
schooling until 18 years old is better
methoud
Correct your spelling
method
because it will increase the
student
Change noun form
student's
show examples
chance
to get
Change preposition
of getting
show examples
better
scoures
Correct your spelling
scores
sources
also
it helps their own
self confidence
Add a hyphen
self-confidence
show examples
to grow more .
Submitted by hebadyala on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Spelling & Vocabulary
Be sure to check your essay for spelling errors, as misspellings can hinder understanding and detract from the overall quality of your writing. For example, instead of 'skeep' use 'keep', 'prepear' should be 'prepare', and 'optin' should be 'obtain'. Aim to spell words correctly to convey your points clearly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use cohesive devices appropriately to link your ideas more effectively. Phrases like 'on one hand' and 'on the other hand' are good but ensure they are followed by balanced arguments. Consider using a wider range of linking words to enhance the logical flow of the essay.
Task Achievement
Develop and support your main points more fully. Provide clear and detailed examples and explanations for each point you make, to add depth to your arguments and effectively address the task.
Structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction and a conclusion. The introduction should establish your thesis statement and outline the structure of your essay. The conclusion should summarise your main points and reaffirm your thesis.
Essay Structure
Aim to structure your essay into clear paragraphs, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each body paragraph should have a central idea, which should be explained and supported by evidence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • full-time education
  • qualifications
  • social inequalities
  • academic paths
  • disengaged
  • drop-out rates
  • workforce
  • skilled workforce
  • knowledge-based economy
  • career decisions
  • psychological effects
  • mental health issues
  • a diverse range of
  • mandatory education
What to do next:
Look at other essays: