IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Nowadays, many kids have become obese, and that causes a lot of health issues .This is why I strongly agree that physical classes must be mandatory in elementary and high schools, as this will lead to improving kids’ well-being and helps them have a better shape.

#kids #health #classes #schools #kids’ #shape
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Correct your spelling
When
Then
Correct your spelling
When
Ehen
Correct your spelling
When
 the kid is in
Correct article usage
apply
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a
Correct article usage
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good health
this
Linking Words
 means that he can live in a better way with good health and power and he will be good at most
Change preposition
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of
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sports
Add an article
the sports
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 because sports need a good body Kids must have a good shape for their body because
the
Correct article usage
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body shape regard to yourself and
also
Linking Words
 if the kid is fat and
don’t
Correct subject-verb agreement
doesn’t
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 take care
about
Change preposition
of
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 his food there will be a big anti-bullying from his schoolmates.
Linking Words
At
Change preposition
In
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 the end im completely agree and I think families
most
Correct your spelling
must
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 focus
with
Change preposition
on
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this
Linking Words
 thing because it
control
Change the verb form
controls
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in
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
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life after time.
Submitted by Mido  on

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Task Achievement
To improve task response, ensure that you fully address the question with a clear position and develop it throughout the essay. Expand your ideas with clear explanations and examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, create a clear overall structure with separate paragraphs for the introduction, body, and conclusion. Use linking words to connect ideas and sentences smoothly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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