IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The pie charts below show the selected causes of death as a percentage of all deaths of registered Indians and the total population in 1992.

the given
Verb problem
The
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 pie chart indicates the proportions of different reasons for
mortality
Correct article usage
the mortality
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 of indian people who are between 18 and 22 years old and
total
Correct article usage
the total
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 population in 1992.
overall
Linking Words
, accidents
was
Change the verb form
were
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 the main reason for death,
although
Linking Words
 heart disease constituted the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
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 percentage of mortality rate.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographics
  • mortality rates
  • cardiovascular diseases
  • neoplasms (cancers)
  • chronic diseases
  • infectious diseases
  • statistical significance
  • preventable causes
  • health disparities
  • lifestyle factors
  • epidemiological data
  • public health
  • socioeconomic factors
  • medical conditions
  • healthcare access
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