lt is important to ensure that children with a wide range of abilities and from a variety of social backgrounds mix with each other at schoo/. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today’s society, you are always going to be surrounded by all types
people
with different stories and personalities. In my Change preposition
of people
opinion
it is important to know how to behave yourself in all social Add a comma
opinion,
groupes
. Correct your spelling
groups
This
is the reasons for Correct pronoun usage
These
wich
I agree with the statement proposed.
Correct your spelling
which
People
who close themselves to specific social groups and do not come out of the
comfort zone when it comes to meeting Change the word
their
people
and accepting mixture in their “engaurange
” are often weak in cultural aspects. Indeed, some Correct your spelling
entourage
people
have some very close minded
ideas because of Add a hyphen
close-minded
this
. Maybe because when they were children they were always surronded
by the same type of Correct your spelling
surrounded
people
. For example
, studies made by the University of San diego
showed that adults who went to a public Change the capitalization
Diego
school
are much more openminded
in LGBTQ issues than adults Correct your spelling
open-minded
that
went to a private Correct pronoun usage
who
school
.
It is also
very rich to be surronded
in Correct your spelling
surrounded
school
by people
with different abilities because this
will help you to complement your capabilities by learning from the rest. This
mixure
allows you to be a better version of yourself in not only Correct your spelling
mixture
academical
aspects but Replace the word
academic
also
social aspects. This
argument can be illustrated by the fact that schools who
have Correct pronoun usage
that
this
aspect, after also
have students that go to very good universities.
In conclusion, it is very important to ensure that children with a wide range of abilities and from a variety of social backgrounds mix with each other at school
, because they become culturally richer, more open-minded and with more capabilities for the future.Submitted by santos_dij on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all supporting sentences are relevant to the main idea of the paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, synonyms, pronouns) to link ideas more smoothly and clarify the relationships between points.
task achievement
Develop your main points more fully with detailed and specific examples, illustrating how diverse student backgrounds contribute to cultural wealth and open-mindedness.
coherence cohesion
Work on refining your introduction and conclusion to more accurately and succinctly summarize your stance and the main points of the essay.
task achievement
Correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for increased clarity and academic tone. Consider the use of complex sentence structures for a higher level writing style.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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