Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with your opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend less than 40 minutes on this task and

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Some individuals are of the opinion that the best way to connect various cultures is through

music

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. I firmly support the given statement and in

this

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essay, I am going to elaborate more on the reasons supporting

this

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idea. Over the ages,

music

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has stood out not only in connecting distinct cultures together but

also

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bringing

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in bringing

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both old and young to a common level. It is evident that different traditions are brought to a showground and appreciated by human beings.

For example

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, during celebrations

such

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as weddings people have their own style of dancing to their local

music

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to express cultural beliefs and during

this

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occassion

Correct your spelling

occasion

they have special garments to grace the given ceremony. In

this

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way, the mode of their dressing and dance represents their cultural values.

Additionally

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, regardless of children or aged

people

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people,

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their

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there

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is a sense of satisfaction that all ages find

into

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show examples

music

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Moreover

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, these feelings have brought up unremarkable togetherness of

human

Correct article usage

the human

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race and

hence

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led to a very great impact in the society.

For instance

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, during political rallies and campaigns the type of

music

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played can bring both younger and older people to converge in the same group just to listen to the speech of politicians.

This

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in return has brought up positivity

such

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that the elderly can easily use

this

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opportunity to give

piece

Fix the agreement mistake

pieces

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of advice to younger ones and

also

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converse about matters of

this

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life. In conclusion, I strongly agree with the statement for the reasons given above namely, embracing cultural values and opportunity provision for all ages to mingle and speak in a common voice.

rebecckwamboka96Wed Feb 07 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

To improve the logical structure, make sure your essay has a clear introduction with a specific thesis statement. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea that is expanded with detailed support.

Coherence & Cohesion

Include an introduction and a conclusion to bookend your essay. The introduction should paraphrase the question, and the conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your opinion.

Coherence & Cohesion

Develop your main points by using more specific examples and details relevant to the topic, ensuring that each point is elaborated sufficiently.

Task Achievement

Ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the task. Clearly present your views and discuss them in relation to the question, supporting them with relevant examples.

Task Achievement

Work on presenting your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Expand on your ideas with further explanation and more varied sentence structures to demonstrate a higher level of English.

Task Achievement

Use a wider range of specific examples to support your arguments, aiming for clarity and relevance to the question asked.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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