Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with your opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend less than 40 minutes on this task and write at least 250 words
Some individuals are of the opinion that the best way to connect various cultures is through
music
. I firmly support the given statement and in this
essay, I am going to elaborate more on the reasons supporting this
idea.
Over the ages, music
has stood out not only in connecting distinct cultures together but also
bringing
both old and young to a common level. It is evident that different traditions are brought to a showground and appreciated by human beings. Change preposition
in bringing
For example
, during celebrations such
as weddings people have their own style of dancing to their local music
to express cultural beliefs and during this
occassion
they have special garments to grace the given ceremony. In Correct your spelling
occasion
this
way, the mode of their dressing and dance represents their cultural values.
Additionally
, regardless of children or aged people
Add a comma
people,
their
is a sense of satisfaction that all ages find Replace the word
there
into
Change preposition
in
music
. Moreover
, these feelings have brought up unremarkable togetherness of human
race and Correct article usage
the human
hence
led to a very great impact in the society. For instance
, during political rallies and campaigns the type of music
played can bring both younger and older people to converge in the same group just to listen to the speech of politicians. This
in return has brought up positivity such
that the elderly can easily use this
opportunity to give piece
of advice to younger ones and Fix the agreement mistake
pieces
also
converse about matters of this
life.
In conclusion, I strongly agree with the statement for the reasons given above namely, embracing cultural values and opportunity provision for all ages to mingle and speak in a common voice.Submitted by rebecckwamboka96 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve the logical structure, make sure your essay has a clear introduction with a specific thesis statement. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea that is expanded with detailed support.
Coherence & Cohesion
Include an introduction and a conclusion to bookend your essay. The introduction should paraphrase the question, and the conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Develop your main points by using more specific examples and details relevant to the topic, ensuring that each point is elaborated sufficiently.
Task Achievement
Ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the task. Clearly present your views and discuss them in relation to the question, supporting them with relevant examples.
Task Achievement
Work on presenting your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Expand on your ideas with further explanation and more varied sentence structures to demonstrate a higher level of English.
Task Achievement
Use a wider range of specific examples to support your arguments, aiming for clarity and relevance to the question asked.