Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?

#criminals #crimes #prison

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These days,when the term of stay in

prison

ends,a lot of criminals do new delinquencies just after their release. It is agreed, that the main cause of

this

issue is the lack of resources to provide life with better quality.

This

essay,

firstly

, will discuss the main motives for causing new crimes,followed by an analysis of measurements which can be taken to prevent

this

To begin

with, prisoners commit different types of offences justifying themselves with poverty and difficult life conditions. Undoubtedly, there are a lot of

people

who do not want to change anything after prisoning and in

this

case, any help will be useless.

On the other hand

, what is true , is that in countries with poor economies,

people

do have not any opportunities to lead an honest lifestyle.

Moreover

, robberies or drug trafficking are considered to be the only possible way to survive.

Consequently

, when they receive a chance to start over again after

prison

, they can not see other abilities except their previous ones.

However

, the government can provide

such

people

with the possibility to work and receive a salary.

For example

, street cleaning or car parking could be a good way to start ,

thus

they would be under constant surveillance to see if the person wants to change their life.

Accordingly

Change preposition

apply

show examples

increasing the

numberMany

Fix the agreement mistake

number of

show examples

criminals

commit

Wrong verb form

committing

show examples

further

crimes as soon as they

released

Add a missing verb

are released

show examples

from

prison

. What do you think are the causes of

this

? What possible solutions can you suggest?

people

working in positions like these.

In addition

, it is a great ability to provide safety in society,by reducing risks of new crimes.

To conclude

this

essay agrees that a lot of offences are committed repeatedly after

prison

nevertheless

, the government can take some measures to provide

such

people

with an honest lifestyle.

Submitted by amina.ilyuk8 on Wed Feb 07 2024

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task achievement

Ensure all parts of the task are addressed. Your essay somewhat delves into the causes and solutions but there needs to be a deeper exploration and explanation of these elements to fully complete the task.

task achievement

Clarify and support your ideas with more detailed and concrete examples that reinforce the points made. General statements are less effective than specific, developed examples.

coherence cohesion

Work on the logical structure within paragraphs to ensure a clear progression of ideas. While there's an attempt to link ideas, some connections between points are vague and need to be made more explicit for better flow and understanding.

coherence cohesion

While an introduction and conclusion are present, ensure they are fully developed to adequately introduce and wrap up the discussion. They should reflect the key points made in the essay and succinctly convey its central argument.

coherence cohesion

Specifically develop main points through the use of examples or further explanation to add weight to the arguments presented in the essay. Unsupported or underdeveloped points weaken the overall cohesion of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Rehabilitation
Reintegrate
Social stigma
Recidivism
Criminal records
Ex-offender
Associations
Comprehensive
Workforce
Mentoring
Incentivize
Stigmatize
Subsidies
Legitimate

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Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?

Include an introduction and conclusion

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