The graph shows the number of visitors to a variety of art galleries in 2011.

The graph shows  the number of visitors to a variety of art galleries in 2011.
The diagram compares information about the
number
of
people
who visited five different art exhibitions in the year 2011. Based on the information presented, the majority of
people
visited the Louvre gallery in France,
whereas
the State Hermitage exhibition in Russia encountered a small
number
of
visitors
.
Additionally
, there was a marginal difference in the
number
of
people
who visited the Metropolitan
Museum
and the British
Museum
. As regards the Louvre gallery, around 9
million
visitors
visited
this
exhibition.
In addition
, there was a slight disparity in the
number
of
people
who attended both the Metropolitan
Museum
in the USA and the British
Museum
in the UK(approximately 200,000
people
).
Moreover
, Over 3
million
visitors
visited the National
Museum
of Korea.
Furthermore
, the
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
del Pardo in Spain experienced a negligible quantity of
visitors
, at only 3
million
.
Lastly
, a minority of
people
(roughly 2.7
million
) visited the state of Hermitage in Russia in the year 2011.
Submitted by iimux771 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, people, visitors, museum, million with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: