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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph shows the number of visitors to a variety of art galleries in 2011.

The graph shows the number of visitors to a variety of art galleries in 2011.
The diagram compares information about the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who visited five different art exhibitions in the year 2011. Based on the information presented, the majority of
people
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 visited the Louvre gallery in France,
whereas
Linking Words
 the State Hermitage exhibition in Russia encountered a small
number
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 of
visitors
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.
Additionally
Linking Words
, there was a marginal difference in the
number
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 of
people
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 who visited the Metropolitan
Museum
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 and the British
Museum
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. As regards the Louvre gallery, around 9
million
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visitors
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 visited
this
Linking Words
 exhibition.
In addition
Linking Words
, there was a slight disparity in the
number
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 of
people
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 who attended both the Metropolitan
Museum
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 in the USA and the British
Museum
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 in the UK(approximately 200,000
people
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).
Moreover
Linking Words
, Over 3
million
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visitors
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 visited the National
Museum
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 of Korea.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
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museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
 del Pardo in Spain experienced a negligible quantity of
visitors
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, at only 3
million
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.
Lastly
Linking Words
, a minority of
people
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 (roughly 2.7
million
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) visited the state of Hermitage in Russia in the year 2011.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, people, visitors, museum, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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