Investment in local amenities such as leisure centres is the best way for the government to foster a good community spirit. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#investment #amenities #leisure #centres #government #community #spirit

Community centres provide an opportunity to gather and relax for an extended period.

Government

investment in these types of leisure

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

will increase the bond between people in society. I strongly agree with

this

statement. In

this

essay, we discussed the importance of the

government

supporting the local amenities and their advantages.

Firstly

, in

this

busy and stressful life, everyone finds a place to reduce their tensions. The local setups like the gym and community centre are the best place for them. Within some days they should know each other and share their opinions and views about their daily life or public news.

Therefore

, we can say that the leisure centre is one of the best ways to foster a good community spirit. They will create clubs and do activities together.

Secondly

, the

Government

can arrange some sports events for children. Parents or someone will accompany them and it makes a platform to build a good relationship with each other. It helps the kid's physical and mental abilities

moreover

the adults can

also

participate to develop a social spirit.

For example

, the sports corner in Niagara conducts a volleyball competition in loving memory of Jimmy George every year. So, everyone can participate

according to

their age group with a team.

To conclude

, public centres are the key to boosting the social spirit. It is an asset for the party to collect people likely the people can enhance their physical and mental health.

Thus

, funding to build local services provides benefits for the

government

as well as

society.

Submitted by fspt1234 on Wed Feb 07 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure the essay has a clear and logical structure by organizing ideas into distinct paragraphs, each with a clear central topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

Include a clear introduction that states your position on the topic and a conclusion that summarizes your main points effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion

Support each main point with clear, relevant examples and explanations to illustrate your arguments better.

Task Achievement

Address the task directly by not only stating your agreement or disagreement but also by discussing the extent to which you agree or disagree.

Task Achievement

Develop your ideas fully to form a more comprehensive response, elaborating on how exactly local amenities foster community spirit.

Task Achievement

Incorporate more specific and detailed examples related to the impact of investment in local amenities to strengthen your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Investment in local amenities such as leisure centres is the best way for the government to foster a good community spirit. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this .

The best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to six years of free education, so that they can at least read, write and use numbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As children become adults, their social behaviour changes in some ways. What are the main differences between young children’s social behaviour and that of adults? To what extent are the changes that take place good?

Some people think that parents should give their children complete freedom. Others feel that parents should limit their children’s freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion.