Some people think that dangerous extreme sports such as rock climbing and sky-diving should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#people #sports #rock

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Some

people

insist that extreme plays should be prevented for

people

's safety.

However

, I firmly disagree with

this

idea because exciting

sports

like rock climbing and sky diving can offer diverse experiences and make someone satisfied with their life. First of all,

outdoors

Replace the word

outdoor

show examples

activities

provide various experiences for

people

who enjoy thrills. Most

people

are not aware of the feeling when they are in different spaces

such

as the sea or the sky until they experience

Correct pronoun usage

it in

show examples

person. Lots of knowledge and emotions that have never gotten can be acquired by doing unique

activities

. As for me,

for instance

, one of my hobbies is scuba diving and my mom was against it

while

worrying about my safety.

Nevertheless

, I got to know about many sea creatures that I

haven't

Wrong verb form

hadn't

show examples

known of before I did scuba diving. On top of that, extreme

sports

help some

people

with much curiosity live vigorously. Curious and active

people

can get

Remove the article

apply

show examples

pleasure only when they experience new things. So, when they do trilling leisure

sports

, they feel happier. A study indicated that extreme

sports

allow

people

who are interested in challenging

activities

to live vividly because these

activities

promote generating

hormone

Fix the agreement mistake

hormones

show examples

To sum up

people

with curiosity can get valuable experiences and make their lives more diverse by doing exciting

sports

For

this

reason, I disagree that extreme

sports

should be banned for safety prevention.

Submitted by dearhoney on Thu Feb 08 2024

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introduction

A clear thesis statement could be added at the end of the introduction to immediately address the extent of agreement or disagreement.

conclusion

A conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates the writer's position would strengthen the essay's effectiveness.

logical structure

The logical structure could be improved by adding clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that directly relate to the thesis.

supported main points

Support main points with more detailed examples and explanations to provide a deeper insight into the arguments presented.

relevant specific examples

Though you've included examples, make sure to discuss them in more depth and provide specific evidence where possible.

complete response

Complete the task by fully answering all parts of the prompt. Consider discussing why some believe extreme sports should be banned and then refute these points.

clear comprehensive ideas

Clarify and develop your ideas further to provide a more comprehensive response, ensuring that you fully explain the reasons behind your views.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

9 paragraphs

231 words

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Some people think that dangerous extreme sports such as rock climbing and sky-diving should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that in order to give opportunities to new generations, companies should encourage high level employees who are older than 55 to retire.Do you agree or disagree?

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The animal species are becoming extinct due to human activities on laand and in sea l.What are the reasons and solutions?

the advantages and disadvantages of technology in education

Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that chilren should go to school until they are older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.