Some people think that dangerous extreme sports such as rock climbing and sky-diving should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#people #sports #rock

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Some

people

Use synonyms

insist that extreme plays should be prevented for

people

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's safety.

However

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, I firmly disagree with

this

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idea because exciting

sports

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like rock climbing and sky diving can offer diverse experiences and make someone satisfied with their life. First of all,

outdoors

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outdoor

show examples

activities

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provide various experiences for

people

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who enjoy thrills. Most

people

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are not aware of the feeling when they are in different spaces

such

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as the sea or the sky until they experience

Correct pronoun usage

it in

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person. Lots of knowledge and emotions that have never gotten can be acquired by doing unique

activities

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. As for me,

for instance

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, one of my hobbies is scuba diving and my mom was against it

while

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worrying about my safety.

Nevertheless

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, I got to know about many sea creatures that I

haven't

Wrong verb form

hadn't

show examples

known of before I did scuba diving. On top of that, extreme

sports

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help some

people

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with much curiosity live vigorously. Curious and active

people

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can get

Remove the article

apply

show examples

pleasure only when they experience new things. So, when they do trilling leisure

sports

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, they feel happier. A study indicated that extreme

sports

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allow

people

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who are interested in challenging

activities

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to live vividly because these

activities

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promote generating

hormone

Fix the agreement mistake

hormones

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To sum up

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people

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with curiosity can get valuable experiences and make their lives more diverse by doing exciting

sports

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For

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this

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reason, I disagree that extreme

sports

Use synonyms

should be banned for safety prevention.

Submitted by dearhoney on Thu Feb 08 2024

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introduction

A clear thesis statement could be added at the end of the introduction to immediately address the extent of agreement or disagreement.

conclusion

A conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates the writer's position would strengthen the essay's effectiveness.

logical structure

The logical structure could be improved by adding clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that directly relate to the thesis.

supported main points

Support main points with more detailed examples and explanations to provide a deeper insight into the arguments presented.

relevant specific examples

Though you've included examples, make sure to discuss them in more depth and provide specific evidence where possible.

complete response

Complete the task by fully answering all parts of the prompt. Consider discussing why some believe extreme sports should be banned and then refute these points.

clear comprehensive ideas

Clarify and develop your ideas further to provide a more comprehensive response, ensuring that you fully explain the reasons behind your views.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

9 paragraphs

231 words

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Some people think that dangerous extreme sports such as rock climbing and sky-diving should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Fully explain your ideas

In today’s society, both Western medicine and traditional complementary forms of medicines’ are now widely known and used. The effectiveness of these kinds of treatment is determined by the patient’s mental attitude towards it. To what extent you agree or disagree?

Your next door neighbor owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night. Write a letter to your neighbor requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: oYour reason for writing oWhat you would like to happen oA nice, respectful style.

International travel brings benefits to travellers and the countries visited, but it also harms for the environment. Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?