IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think that adverts control what we purchase, while others think they are useful sources of information on products. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #adverts #control #purchase #sources #information #products
The influence of
advertisements
 on
consumer
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 is a topic of considerable debate. Some people believe that
adverts
 manipulate our purchasing decisions,
while
 others argue that they serve as valuable sources of
information
 about
products
.
This
 essay will discuss both perspectives and present my opinion. Those who contend that
adverts
 control what we purchase argue that
advertisements
 are designed to create desires and shape
consumer
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. Advertisers employ persuasive techniques,
such
 as emotional appeals, celebrity endorsements, and catchy jingles, to make
products
 appear more attractive and desirable.
For instance
, a commercial featuring a famous athlete promoting a sports drink can lead
consumers
 to believe that the product will enhance their performance.
Furthermore
,
adverts
 often exploit psychological triggers,
such
 as the fear of missing out (FOMO) or the desire for social acceptance, to compel individuals to buy
products
 they might not need.
This
 manipulative aspect of advertising can lead to impulsive and unnecessary purchases.
On the other hand
, proponents of advertising as a useful source of
information
 argue that
adverts
 provide essential details about
products
 and services. They inform
consumers
 about new
products
, features, prices, and special offers, helping them make informed purchasing decisions.
For example
, an advertisement for a new smartphone can highlight its unique features and benefits, enabling
consumers
 to compare it with other models and choose the one that best meets their needs.
Additionally
,
adverts
 can raise awareness about innovative
products
 that improve quality of life,
such
 as health and wellness items or environmentally friendly
products
. In my opinion,
while
advertisements
 do have the potential to manipulate
consumer
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
, they
also
 play a crucial role in providing valuable
information
. The key lies in
consumer
 awareness and critical thinking.
Consumers
 should be mindful of the persuasive tactics used in
adverts
 and approach them with a discerning eye. By doing so, they can benefit from the
information
 provided without falling prey to manipulation. In conclusion,
advertisements
 can both influence purchasing decisions and serve as useful sources of product
information
. A balanced perspective, where
consumers
 are informed and vigilant, can help mitigate the negative effects of advertising
while
 allowing them to benefit from the valuable
information
 ads can offer.
Submitted by jalpreetjelly79 on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or statistical data to strengthen the points made.
task achievement
The essay effectively discusses both perspectives of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a well-organized structure with clear introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The main points are supported with logical reasoning and relevant examples.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuasive techniques
  • celebrity endorsements
  • catchy slogans
  • emotional appeals
  • materialistic culture
  • competitive pricing
  • consumer demand
  • brand loyalty
  • consumer behavior
  • innovations
  • informed choices
  • misleading claims
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