Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
These days,
people
Use synonyms
argued
that Wrong verb form
argue
childern
should use their phones during Correct your spelling
children
Use synonyms
school
Add an article
the school
day
. In Use synonyms
this
essay, I will discuss two different Linking Words
view
which is why Change to a plural noun
views
parent
allow phones for their Use synonyms
childern
Correct your spelling
children
while
others prevent that.
In previous days, the Linking Words
expenture
of life Correct your spelling
expenditure
forecd
Correct your spelling
forced
parent
to work to get a comfortable life and have the necessary things, Use synonyms
as a result
of that they may come home Linking Words
at
Change preposition
in
early
hours of Correct article usage
the early
Correct article usage
the days
days
so they Fix the agreement mistake
day
needs
to make sure that their children Change the verb form
need
in
Add a missing verb
are in
peace
place, return from Replace the word
peaceful
school
to home, and eat well, though the easiest way to know Use synonyms
that is
to contact on Linking Words
phone
. Especially, those Use synonyms
people
who have nobody can take care of their Use synonyms
kids
Use synonyms
while
they are Linking Words
on
work. Change preposition
at
Moreover
, some Linking Words
individual
think that Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
kids
Use synonyms
didn't
Wrong verb form
don't
must
all Verb problem
have to study
day
study, they Use synonyms
also
need to have fun and Linking Words
get
relax from Verb problem
apply
over thinking
and Correct your spelling
overthinking
learn
. Wrong verb form
learning
As well as
they Linking Words
push
them to have special time to chat with their friend, gaming, Rephrase
also push
have
pleasure from videos, like Instagram because they understand the Correct word choice
and have
affect
of pleasure to get well Replace the word
effect
on
Change preposition
in
school
.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, Linking Words
people
think that Use synonyms
Use synonyms
phone
have Fix the agreement mistake
phones
a
negative consequences for their Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
children in
educational attainment. They prevent phones because they can not control how they should use Change preposition
children's
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
on
one Change preposition
in
day
. Use synonyms
However
, those Linking Words
people
want their Use synonyms
kids
to have a high Use synonyms
grade
in all classes and they Fix the agreement mistake
grades
forsed
them on curriculum to get a high prestige job. Correct your spelling
forced
Otherwise
, the negative Linking Words
psycholgy
of some Correct your spelling
psychology
uses
of Correct your spelling
users
Use synonyms
phone
,Fix the agreement mistake
phones
hence
, nervous, over-acting, Linking Words
scream
, and vanity. Some Wrong verb form
screaming
kids
who play a Use synonyms
lot
time on Add the preposition
lot of
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
their phone
phone
, Fix the agreement mistake
phones
they
always scream Correct pronoun usage
apply
on
Change preposition
at
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
their parent
parent
and Fix the agreement mistake
parents
stubborn
and Add a missing verb
are stubborn
did
not want to study Wrong verb form
do
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
eating
.
In the end, there Wrong verb form
eat
is
a pros and cons to Verb problem
apply
use
the Change the verb form
using
phone
during Use synonyms
Use synonyms
school
Add an article
the school
day
, though the most significant part is Use synonyms
the
Change preposition
for the
parent
, to manage Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the uses
uses
of Fix the agreement mistake
use
Use synonyms
phone
for their Add an article
the phone
a phone
kids
.Use synonyms
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Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, make sure to fully address the prompt by discussing both views equally and providing a clear opinion. Develop your arguments with more specific examples and reasons.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance coherence and cohesion by organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a central idea. Use cohesive devices effectively to link ideas within and across paragraphs.
Language
Pay attention to accurate grammar and varied vocabulary to express your ideas more clearly. Avoid overly simplistic language and sentence structures.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example