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Band 7

Do you think that an ageing society will disappear? What are the advantages and disadvantages of having more old people in society?

#society #people
The notion of an ageing
society
 has sparked debate about its potential consequences on modern
society
.
While
 it is undeniable that an ageing
population
 can bring numerous
benefits
, it is equally important to consider the potential drawbacks. In
this
 essay, I will examine the advantages and disadvantages of an ageing
society
. One of the primary advantages of an ageing
population
 is the wealth of experience and wisdom that senior citizens can bring to the table.
For instance
, they can share their knowledge and insights with younger generations, contributing to the development of the community. In fact, many studies have shown that people are more likely to seek advice and guidance from those with more life experience.
This
 means that having an ageing
population
 can have numerous
benefits
 for
society
.
However
, there are
also
 compelling arguments against the notion of an ageing
society
. For one, it can lead to a decrease in the number of younger people available to take on employment opportunities, which can hinder economic growth and development.
Additionally
, as the proportion of older people increases, younger workers may need to take on caregiving responsibilities, which can
further
 impede the country's advancement. From my perspective, it is essential to strike a balance between the
benefits
 and drawbacks of an ageing
society
.
While
 senior citizens can bring valuable contributions to the community, it is equally important to consider the potential negative impacts on the economy. Ultimately, finding a way to harmonize the
benefits
 of an ageing
population
 with the potential drawbacks will be crucial for the well-being of modern
society
.
Submitted by reemaljuaidi8 on

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task achievement
You have effectively addressed the task prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of an ageing society. To further improve, consider providing additional specific examples or data to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates clear and comprehensive ideas. However, it would be beneficial to further elaborate on some points for increased clarity and depth.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure and uses cohesive devices well. Ensure the progression of ideas is smooth by linking your points more explicitly between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and effectively frame the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well-supported with relevant examples and insights.
task achievement
The essay provides clear and comprehensive ideas on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing society
  • healthcare and pension systems
  • elderly individuals
  • financial support
  • wisdom and experience
  • guidance
  • economic opportunities and innovation
  • strain on healthcare systems
  • medical services
  • associated costs
  • shrinking workforce
  • economic challenges
  • social services and infrastructure
  • financial investment
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