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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts show world pineapple exports by the top three pineapple-producing countries in 2009 and 2019, and a breakdown of the cost to the consumer of each pineapple in 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts show world pineapple exports by the top three pineapple-producing countries in 2009 and 2019, and a breakdown of the cost to the consumer of each pineapple in 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #world #pineapple #exports #three #countries #breakdown #cost #consumer #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line and pie charts
provides
Change the verb form
provide
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 information about international
pineapple
convey
Wrong verb form
conveyed
show examples
 by the top three
pineapple producing
Add a hyphen
pineapple-producing
show examples
 countries in two years
which is
Verb problem
,
show examples
 2009 and 2019.
Moreover
, the dropped of the
expendture
Correct your spelling
expenditure
 to the consumer
each
Change preposition
of each
show examples
pineapple
 in terms of 7 important categories in 2019.
Overall
,
Country
 A
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 the highest one trading
pineapple
 in 2019,
while
Country
 C
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 the lowest
on
Change preposition
in
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 trading in neither year. The most
category
Replace the word
common categories
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 fall down was
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Distribution and retail. As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
shown
Add the auxiliary verb
is shown
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on
Change preposition
in
show examples
figure
Add an article
the figure
show examples
,
Country
 B
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
started with 5 Metric
tonnes
 more than other countries which
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
can not
reached
Change the verb form
reach
show examples
 2 Metric
tonnes
 in 2009.
Subsequently
,
Country
 A increased suddenly to
approximetly
Correct your spelling
approximately
 10 Metric
tonnes
 in 2019,
while
Country
 B
significant
Change the word
significantly
show examples
 decreased to 1.8 Metric
tonnes
,
whereas
Country
 C
increaceced
Correct your spelling
increased
 slightly to 1. Distribution and retail accounts for 35% of the total breakdown of the cost
each
Change preposition
of each
show examples
pineapple
.
However
, profit and taxes get similar
expenture
Correct your spelling
expenditure
 which one
take
Change the verb form
takes
show examples
 18% and other takes 16%. The lowest
expenture
Correct your spelling
expenditure
 are Prodecer which take 5% and Export costs with rate 4%.
Submitted by kazza735 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words pineapple, country, tonnes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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