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Band 4.5

In many countries, formal exams are used to assess students’ abilities and to judge the success of their education. What are the advantages and disadvantages of using formal exams to assess students’ abilities? Do you think the benefits of using formal exams outweigh the drawbacks?

Students
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 in some countries take official
exams
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 that are provided by top officials to evaluate
students
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' abilities.
This
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 essay will argue that despite
bad
Correct article usage
the bad
show examples
 results from
it make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 children less confident,
advantages
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the advantages
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 of taking
exams
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more
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apply
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outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 than disadvantages
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
this
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 is
useful
Add an article
a useful
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 method to assess and improve
quality
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the quality
show examples
 of
learnings
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learning
show examples
 in
schools
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. Governments provide general guidelines and standards to ensure that all
students
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 have
same
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the same
show examples
oportunity
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opportunity
 to get
same
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the same
show examples
 level of education.
However
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, every
teachers
Change to a singular noun
teacher
show examples
have
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has
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diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 approaches
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 teaching, and every
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students
Change to a singular noun
student
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
different
Correct article usage
a different
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 ability to learn things.
While
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 some may have supportive parents, some may not.
Therefore
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,
while
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 some
schools
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 are more
student-oreinted
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student-oriented
, some may not. Because of
this
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 reason, some countries set
the
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apply
show examples
exams
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 in every
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schools
Change to a singular noun
school
show examples
 to assess the
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students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
show examples
 general ability
,
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apply
show examples
 and
examining
Wrong verb form
examine
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the
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apply
show examples
how effective
of
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apply
show examples
the educational system
and
Add a missing verb
is and
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 how well
teachers
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teachers'
teacher's
show examples
 performance
are
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is
show examples
.
For example
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, in my country,
exams
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 are held each year for every
pupils
Change to a singular noun
pupil
show examples
 in each grade. If the
overall
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 performance of the school is poor, its management would be ordered to take additional steps to enhance general performance.
Nevertheless
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, there could be
the
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a
show examples
 minor disadvantage of imposing formal
exams
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 for pupils. All
exams
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 cannot assess
Use synonyms
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
 general ability accurately.
Consquently
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Consequently
, children tend to be discouraged
Change preposition
from learining
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learining
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learning
 things when they get lower scores, or by comparing others'
perrformance
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performance
. Particularly, mandating
exams
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 in
the
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apply
show examples
elementary
schools
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 is not appropriate. it
make
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makes
show examples
 them more
stressful
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
, thinking
themselves
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of themselves
show examples
 as bad and foolish
ones
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apply
show examples
.
For example
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,
few
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a few
show examples
 years ago in my country, pupils in elementary school are exempted from formal
exams
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. In conclusion, I believe that
benefits
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the benefits
show examples
 of taking
exams
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 are more
outweight
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outweigh
 of
its
Change the word
the
show examples
 drawbacks
,
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apply
show examples
 because it can be
an important criteria
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important criteria
an important criterion
show examples
to evaluate
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for evaluating
show examples
 the existing education system
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
further
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 improvements.

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task achievement
To enhance task response, ensure you address each part of the question more evenly. Develop each advantage and disadvantage with specific examples and clear arguments to present comprehensive ideas.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on organizing your essay into clear paragraphs with topic sentences; each paragraph should center on one main idea. Use a wide range of cohesive devices to link your ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with more relevant examples and data if possible. Avoid overly general statements by elaborating on how the examples specifically relate to the points being made.
coherence cohesion
To push the essay towards a higher band, work on sentence structure and punctuation for clarity, and aim for a more formal tone throughout.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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