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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say that now they can see films on theur, phones or tablets. there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films, need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both· these,views and give your own opinion.

#people #films #theur #phones #tablets #cinema #both·
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Some people argue that the best
way
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 to watch
movies
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 is through our phones or tablets
while
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 others believe that the
cinema
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 is the best option for enjoying a film.
This
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 essay will discuss both sides of the argument in detail, and show why I believe that watching
movies
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 from our technological devices might be better. On the one hand, many individuals opt to go to the
cinema
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 as a
way
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 to go out and do something fun.
Furthermore
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, the
cinema
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 offers something that may be impossible to have at home which is the four dimensions of
movies
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.
In addition
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,
that is
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 a fantastic technology development that makes you feel that you are part of the movie.
According to
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 a recent survey that was made in Uruguay, 80% of the population said that going to the
cinema
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 once a month is a must!
On the other hand
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, watching
movies
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 or TV shows from our devices is a good option as well,
Moreover
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, platforms
such
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 as Netflix and Amazon Prime, offer a wide range of
movies
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 for a small fee of less than ten dollars per month,
while
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cinema
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 tickets usually cost over twenty dollars.
Although
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 it does not have the same magic as the
cinema
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, watching a movie in our house is much more pleasant as we can rest on the couch in our pyjamas. A recent article suggests that
due to
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 people's hectic lives, they prefer to stay at home
instead
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 of going out and
also
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 opt for
this
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 as a
way
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 of saving money.
To sum up
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 , even though going to the
cinema
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 could be a good plan and a
way
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 to have fun, I would say that opting to stay at home and watch a movie there is definitely far better. Not only because is more cozy but
also
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 since is a
way
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 to save money.
Submitted by jimeilaria on

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coherence cohesion
While the essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, make sure to connect the main points more smoothly between paragraphs. Transition words and phrases will help the essay flow better.
task achievement
Expand on ideas slightly more to ensure they are fully developed. Providing a few more detailed examples and discussing them in more depth would improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
task achievement
The essay gives a balanced discussion about both sides of the argument, showing that you can consider different perspectives before presenting your own opinion.
task achievement
You have used relevant and specific examples to support your points, such as the recent survey in Uruguay and platforms like Netflix and Amazon Prime.
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