IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say that now they can see films on theur, phones or tablets. there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films, need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both· these,views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people argue that the best
way
Use synonyms
 to watch
movies
Use synonyms
 is through our phones or tablets
while
Linking Words
 others believe that the
cinema
Use synonyms
 is the best option for enjoying a film.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both sides of the argument in detail, and show why I believe that watching
movies
Use synonyms
 from our technological devices might be better. On the one hand, many individuals opt to go to the
cinema
Use synonyms
 as a
way
Use synonyms
 to go out and do something fun.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
cinema
Use synonyms
 offers something that may be impossible to have at home which is the four dimensions of
movies
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
that is
Linking Words
 a fantastic technology development that makes you feel that you are part of the movie.
According to
Linking Words
 a recent survey that was made in Uruguay, 80% of the population said that going to the
cinema
Use synonyms
 once a month is a must!
On the other hand
Linking Words
, watching
movies
Use synonyms
 or TV shows from our devices is a good option as well,
Moreover
Linking Words
, platforms
such
Linking Words
 as Netflix and Amazon Prime, offer a wide range of
movies
Use synonyms
 for a small fee of less than ten dollars per month,
while
Linking Words
cinema
Use synonyms
 tickets usually cost over twenty dollars.
Although
Linking Words
 it does not have the same magic as the
cinema
Use synonyms
, watching a movie in our house is much more pleasant as we can rest on the couch in our pyjamas. A recent article suggests that
due to
Linking Words
 people's hectic lives, they prefer to stay at home
instead
Linking Words
 of going out and
also
Linking Words
 opt for
this
Linking Words
 as a
way
Use synonyms
 of saving money.
To sum up
Linking Words
 , even though going to the
cinema
Use synonyms
 could be a good plan and a
way
Use synonyms
 to have fun, I would say that opting to stay at home and watch a movie there is definitely far better. Not only because is more cozy but
also
Linking Words
 since is a
way
Use synonyms
 to save money.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
While the essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, make sure to connect the main points more smoothly between paragraphs. Transition words and phrases will help the essay flow better.
task achievement
Expand on ideas slightly more to ensure they are fully developed. Providing a few more detailed examples and discussing them in more depth would improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
task achievement
The essay gives a balanced discussion about both sides of the argument, showing that you can consider different perspectives before presenting your own opinion.
task achievement
You have used relevant and specific examples to support your points, such as the recent survey in Uruguay and platforms like Netflix and Amazon Prime.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: