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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart shows the percentage of people who have moved house either in last 3 years,between 3years to 5 years,not within the last 5 years

The bar chart shows the percentage of people who have moved house either in last 3 years,between 3years to 5 years,not within the last 5 years
#bar #percentage #people #house #years
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The chart depicts the numbers of
people
Use synonyms
 who have moved
house
Use synonyms
 either in the
last
Linking Words
 3
years
Use synonyms
, between 3 to 5
years
Use synonyms
, and not moved
house
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 5
years
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, most
people
Use synonyms
 from different ages in the given timeframe moved
house
Use synonyms
 3 to 5
years
Use synonyms
 ago, followed by
people
Use synonyms
 moving
house
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 3
years
Use synonyms
 and not moving
house
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 5
years
Use synonyms
. Two groups of individuals aged 20-29 and aged 30-39 have a similar pattern with just only a number difference of someone moving
house
Use synonyms
 3 to 5
years
Use synonyms
 ago and moved
house
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 3
years
Use synonyms
. Both units stood at around 45 and 33.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 that did not move
house
Use synonyms
 reached 22.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, 55
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 aged 40 to 49 moved
house
Use synonyms
 within 3 to 5
years
Use synonyms
 ago, with 31 individuals
moved
Wrong verb form
moving
show examples
house
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 3
years
Use synonyms
, and only 14
people
Use synonyms
 did not move
house
Use synonyms
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, a group of
people
Use synonyms
 older than 50 had around 41
people
Use synonyms
 moving
house
Use synonyms
 within 3 to 5
years
Use synonyms
 or not moving
house
Use synonyms
 at all and 15
people
Use synonyms
 moving
house
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 3
years
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by narawriteshare9 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, house, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "moved" was used 8 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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