Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many people claim that advertising is very effective at persuading us to acquire some things. Another part of people say that marketing is
ordinary
Add an article
an ordinary
show examples
thing that we do not need to pay attention to it. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
two opposite opinions and will indicate knowledge from my own life. The first group thinks that advertising affects
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
. Obviously, we face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
key part of modern business every day.
In addition
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
is a creative industry, the main purpose of which is to persuade us to
give
Verb problem
pay
show examples
attention to the products.
For example
Linking Words
, in our daily
life
Add a comma
life,
show examples
we can collide with different types of billboards and slogans,
also
Linking Words
in the
cinema
Add a comma
cinema,
show examples
you can see different clothes stores in the beginning.
As a result
Linking Words
, in most
causes
Correct your spelling
cases
show examples
will get outfits from
this
Linking Words
store. The second
persons
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
category
believe
Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
show examples
that our mind needs to skip
this
Linking Words
type of marketing. In fact, we can observe that, promoting manipulates people and focus on selling a brand image too. To illustrate we can demonstrate some luxurious
brand
Fix the agreement mistake
brands
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
as Louis Vuitton and Gucci, most of the time we concentrate gaze on the labels, not on the quality of products. All in all, I can say that our day-to-day life includes various kinds of marketing, which can manipulate us.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, children can be easily influenced by it, so society should censor harmful data or products
as well as
Linking Words
warnings must be displayed on packages of every unhealthy
things
Change to a singular noun
thing
show examples
around the world.
Submitted by 6atb8k on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To improve Task Achievement, ensure that you address all parts of the task. Your response was somewhat complete, but make sure to fully develop your ideas. Be comprehensive in illustrating your points, and balance the discussion of both views before presenting your own opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance Coherence and Cohesion, work on improving logical sequencing of information and ideas. Use a range of cohesive devices effectively while avoiding overuse or redundancy. Also, check and maintain paragraphing, with clear topic sentences and appropriate concluding sentences for each paragraph.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to support your points. Use real-world instances, statistics, or studies to substantiate your arguments and make them more convincing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
Look at other essays: