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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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Introduction
Some
people
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 believe that participating in
team
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sports
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,
such
Linking Words
 as football, is more beneficial,
while
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 others argue that individual
sports
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,
such
Linking Words
 as tennis or swimming, offer greater advantages.
Although
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 both types of sport have their own benefits, I believe that the best choice depends largely on a person's interests, abilities and personality.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand,
team
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sports
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 provide valuable opportunities to develop teamwork and communication
skills
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. In football,
for example
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, players have different roles,
such
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 as forwards, defenders and goalkeepers, but they must work together to achieve a common goal. During a match, they learn to understand their teammates through their movements, reactions and communication. Over time,
this
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 can help players anticipate other
people
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's actions and respond effectively to different situations. These
skills
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 are
also
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 useful in everyday life because the ability to communicate and cooperate with others is important at school, at work and in society.
Therefore
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, participating in
team
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sports
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 can help
people
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 develop strong interpersonal
skills
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.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, individual
sports
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 can help
people
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 develop independence, self-discipline and self-confidence.
For instance
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, tennis players often have to make quick decisions and adjust their tactics
according to
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 their opponent's actions. Unlike members of a
team
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, individual athletes cannot rely on teammates when they face difficulties.
As a result
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, they learn to take responsibility for their own decisions and performance.
Similarly
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,
sports
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such
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 as swimming require regular training, determination and a high level of self-discipline. These qualities can help
people
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 become more confident and responsible in other areas of their lives.
Conclusion
In conclusion, both
team
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 and individual
sports
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 can be highly beneficial.
While
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team
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sports
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 are particularly useful for developing communication and cooperation
skills
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, individual
sports
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 encourage independence and self-discipline. In my opinion, neither type of sport is necessarily better than the other, as
people
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 should choose the one that best suits their interests, abilities and personality.

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task response
You discuss both sides well and give a clear view. To make your view even stronger, say more clearly why a person’s own needs should be the main way to choose a sport.
task response
Your main ideas are clear: team sports build work with others, while solo sports build self-control. You could add one more real-life case to show how these skills help outside sport.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow. Each main part has one clear job, and the order of ideas makes sense.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words well, such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “For example”, and “As a result”. Try not to use “for example” too often; sometimes start with the case itself.
coherence and cohesion
The end brings the two sides and your view together clearly. It could be a little more direct by restating that there is no single best sport for all people.
task response
You answer every part of the question: you explain team sports, explain solo sports, and give your own view.
task response
The football, tennis, and swimming cases fit your ideas well and help the reader understand your points.
coherence and cohesion
Your four-part shape is strong: opening, team sports, solo sports, and ending.
coherence and cohesion
Your topic lines clearly tell the reader what each part will discuss.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cooperation
  • team spirit
  • sense of belonging
  • community
  • leadership
  • trust
  • collective responsibility
  • dependency
  • self-reliance
  • self-discipline
  • goal setting
  • tailored development
  • flexibility
  • social support
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