IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Living in big cities is bad for health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, people contend that living in a huge
city
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 can cause many problems to arise for mental and physical
health
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. There are different perspectives, particularly in
this
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 essay. I totally agree with the idea that an urban area makes harmful to citizen's
health
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. In the first place, there are many reasons for
this
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 problem, but mainly for pollution. Coming from a large
city
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 always results in a large number of citizens, which require much fuel for vehicle driving.
In addition
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, urban
also
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 is the place that concentrates factories to adapt essential products for a high standard of living.
For example
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, the factory releases a large amount of carbon dioxide each year into the environment, that the main reason for the issue of why the environment's strength is reduced day by day.
That is
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 why the government is making some restrictions to balance levels of pollution. In the second place, lifestyle is sometimes
also
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 an explanation for damaged sleep for a morning working person. Living near places
such
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 as pubs and bars can result in significant ambient noise, especially considering their constant activity throughout the week. Almost all sound come from activities that would be held around the
city
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 when any shop grand opening or sale day.
Finally
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, environmental noise is
also
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 harmful to citizens's
health
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 since it causes stress or disrupts sleep. In conclusion, living in a large
city
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 can indeed pose significant challenges to both mental and physical well-being. Pollution and environmental noise are two prominent factors that contribute to these issues. It is essential for governments and individuals to address these concerns to ensure the
health
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 and well-being of urban residents.

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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve the logical structure, ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and all sentences within that paragraph contribute to it cohesively. Avoid abrupt topic shifts.
Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure the introduction and conclusion are clear and adequately paraphrase the prompt. The conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points without introducing new information.
Coherence & Cohesion
To support main points, include detailed examples or evidence. Expand on your examples by explaining why they are relevant or what their implications are.
Task Achievement
For a full response to the task, ensure your argument addresses the question comprehensively. Consider both sides even if you agree or disagree, providing counterpoints or concessions where appropriate.
Task Achievement
Work on clarity in your ideas, aiming for each sentence to be easily understood on first reading. Break down complex points into simpler statements if necessary.
Task Achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to support your argument. Try to include statistics, reports, or studies that back up your claims and give your essay more authority.
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