Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
Some contend that many severe
health
problems nowadays are Use synonyms
due to
consuming highly sugary Linking Words
food
products. Use synonyms
Therefore
, they believe increasing these foods' prices would be a practical approach to tackling Linking Words
this
issue. Linking Words
However
, from my standpoint, Linking Words
although
Linking Words
this
method could improve personal Linking Words
health
, it is ineffective for many reasons.
On the one hand, raising the price of Use synonyms
food
with high levels of sugar may bring about certain advantages in terms of human Use synonyms
health
. Use synonyms
First,
Linking Words
this
solution reduces the consumption of Linking Words
this
Linking Words
food
, decreasing the risk of diabetes and cardiovascular diseases Use synonyms
due to
obesity. Linking Words
Additionally
, making sugary products costly can raise public awareness of turning to healthier alternatives, Linking Words
such
as whole grains or fresh fruits, causing permanent healthy eating habits for residents. Linking Words
This
approach will help Linking Words
people
expand their lifespans and contribute longer to society and the country. Use synonyms
Therefore
, Linking Words
this
is one of the main factors that develop a country and make it more prosperous.
Linking Words
Nonetheless
, Linking Words
although
Linking Words
this
idea has the abovementioned advantages, the solution may hurt the economy. The first possible explanation for Linking Words
this
statement worth considering is that when sweet Linking Words
food
products are sold at high prices, Use synonyms
people
will have other options to cater to their eating demands. Use synonyms
This
negatively impacts small companies and suppliers, which are heavily operated based on sweet Linking Words
food
production, causing them to go bankrupt. It will put high pressure on unemployment insurance Use synonyms
due to
the massive loss of jobs. The second explanation is that Linking Words
people
experiencing poverty will face Use synonyms
food
inequality if Use synonyms
this
policy is implemented. Linking Words
This
means that lower-income families cannot afford other services, Linking Words
such
as education or medical services, because they spend a significant percentage of their income on meals.
In conclusion, Linking Words
although
increasing the price of Linking Words
food
and beverages high in sugar may benefit Use synonyms
people
's residents, it will damage the economy and society. In my opinion, the government can promulgate regulations to raise public Use synonyms
health
awareness Use synonyms
instead
of implementing the former idea.Linking Words
Submitted by Mads on
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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support the main ideas, such as case studies or statistics.
coherence cohesion
Ensure there is a clear connection between the advantages and the suggestions provided to address the issue.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear structure with a strong introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well-organized and logically developed throughout the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, providing a balanced response to the task question.