While some people consider global warming to be the most pressing environmental problem which we have at the movment,other believe that deforestation impact on our world.Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

These days, the number of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

problems

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

are rapidly show

Change the verb form

are rapidly shown

are rapidly showing

show examples

incline

Correct article usage

an incline

show examples

tends

Verb problem

apply

show examples

however

Linking Words

global warming and deforestation become popular among them. Both these issues are deeply explained in the upcoming paragraph and my viewpoint

draw

Wrong verb form

is drawn

show examples

last

Linking Words

. To commence with the former argument, the environmental obstacles

cause

Change the form of the verb

caused

show examples

by humans

such

Linking Words

as majority of the people give more preferences to their own vehicle rather than sharing their bikes or

use

Wrong verb form

using

show examples

public transportation.

Thus

Linking Words

, directly

increased

Wrong verb form

increases

show examples

the level of pollution which is harmful

for

Change the preposition

show examples

ozone

Add an article

the ozone

show examples

layer.

Along with

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, the industries

also

Linking Words

released

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

toxic air pollution which mixed with other gases that are already present in the atmosphere.

Hence

Linking Words

, it disturbs the temperature and weather of the place.

Nonetheless

Linking Words

, on the opponent's hand,

due to

Linking Words

Correct article usage

the gradually

show examples

gradually

Change the word

gradual

show examples

raising in the population and industrial

area

Fix the agreement mistake

areas

show examples

the

Change the article

show examples

large amount of forest places are cut down just to provide shelter and work to

worker

Fix the agreement mistake

workers

show examples

so that, they can survive

Linking Words

this

Change preposition

in this

show examples

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

world.

Therefore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

thing

show

Change the verb form

shows

show examples

negative consequences on the wildlife as their house are removed to construct other things. In

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

other words, the food chain

directly

Add a missing verb

is directly

show examples

effect

Correct your spelling

affected

show examples

this

Linking Words

. Meanwhile, the level of carbon dioxide is

also

Linking Words

growing which

become

Correct subject-verb agreement

becomes

show examples

problem

Add an article

a problem

show examples

for

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

because they cannot get fresh air to

breath

Replace the word

breathe

show examples

in open

space

Fix the agreement mistake

spaces

show examples

. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

both these issues

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

play different

role

Fix the agreement mistake

roles

show examples

this

Linking Words

world,

nevertheless

Linking Words

I believe that these are interlinked with each other because both these

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

the

surrounding

Fix the agreement mistake

surroundings

show examples

and environment .

kirandkaur131

Feb 8, 2024

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coherence cohesion

It is important to ensure that your essay follows a clear and logical order. Start by introducing the topic, followed by well-structured paragraphs that each cover a single main idea, and end with a conclusion that summarises your opinion and the points discussed.

coherence cohesion

Work on making your introduction and conclusion more precise. Your introduction should clearly mention both views and state what the essay will discuss. Your conclusion should succinctly summarize the arguments and clearly state your opinion.

task achievement

Try to provide specific examples and evidence to support each point you make. This will help to develop your arguments and make them more convincing to the reader.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure to ensure the essay is easy to understand and follows English language conventions. Proofreading can help identify and correct these issues.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

243 words

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While some people consider global warming to be the most pressing environmental problem which we have at the movment,other believe that deforestation impact on our world.Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agre or disagree?

In many countries, an increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on television and in computer and video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that government funding for schools should be spent on science subjects rather than on other subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

TOPIC – Nowadays, more and more people are moving from the countryside to cities, which are becoming overcrowded. What are the reasons for this movement to cities and what can be done to reduce it?