In many countries, teenagers are encouraged to find part-time jobs. Some individuals this is a good development while others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
In modern society, it is often argued that encouraging adolescents to find part-
time
jobs
can be beneficial for their personal growth. From my perspective, this
viewpoint is convincing since part-time
jobs
offer significant advantages to teenagers
, as outlined below.
To begin
with, students
can gain various valuable experiences by working as part-timers. Before entering adulthood, young people have the opportunity to discover their interests and talents. In contrast
, after reaching adulthood, they must make career decisions, limiting their chances to explore different activities. In this
respect, restricting students
' right to take on temporary jobs
is unjustified. Furthermore
, working allows teenagers
to earn money, which can be a valuable asset in the future. Typically, middle and high school students
need to save money for their university or college education. Moreover
, once they turn 19, they may no longer receive pocket money from their families. This
suggests that adolescents should prepare for the future in advance, and therefore
, they should be provided with sufficient time
to engage in part-time
work.
Admittedly, some people are concerned that students
might be deprived of time
for studying when they take on jobs
. Since the ultimate goal for many students
is to gain admission to prestigious schools by studying hard, it is understandable why parents and teachers might worry and discourage them from working. However
, time
management is a crucial skill for students
to develop. Without work responsibilities, there is a higher likelihood that teenagers
might waste their time
on games or leisure activities. By learning how to prioritize tasks, they can foster personal development and become more disciplined.
In conclusion, working part-time
can play a vital role in helping students
discover their talents and enjoy a higher standard of living in the future. Therefore
, teenagers
should be encouraged to pursue part-time
jobs
in every country. The importance of firsthand experience should not be underestimated.Submitted by jaeddori66 on
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task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the issue and providing a clear stance in favor of encouraging teenagers to take part-time jobs. To further enrich the task response, consider providing additional examples or statistics to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay is very well-structured, with clear and logical progression between introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. To make it even better, ensure that transitions between ideas within paragraphs are equally smooth.
task achievement
The essay presents a well-rounded discussion and clearly states the author's opinion while maintaining a balanced analysis. This demonstrates a complete response to the task.
task achievement
The ideas are clearly presented and well-developed, showing clear and comprehensive thought processes.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph has a logical flow and is connected to the next, which makes the essay easy to follow and understand.
coherence cohesion
Both an introduction and conclusion are present, and they effectively encapsulate the main points of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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