Many people are opting for several careers as compared to a single career to earn more money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, a group of
people
are inclined
toward
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apply
show examples
to
work
in various professions, out of necessity or by their own will. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other words, when
people
choose to entertain in
another jobs
Replace the adjective
another job
other jobs
show examples
, there would be financial circumstances
,
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apply
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or a mental issue. Working hard is not always for enhancing our bank accounts, sometimes
people
have no other choices
due to
their financial problems. Especially, in undeveloped countries it looks hard for
people
to meet all of their needs just with one particular job.
Therefore
, they tend to
work
in another one.
For instance
, some adults in my country are suffering from
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of budget, and
while
they are
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
in a company and have
monthly
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a monthly
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salary, they should
work
in jobs like online taxi driving after they
work
hours to earn more
money
.
As a result
, in
this
case
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case,
show examples
working in another career is mandatory.
In contrast
, someone who
have
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has
show examples
a materialistic character
work
unstoptable
Correct your spelling
unstoppable
to make a fortune. Actually, these kinds of
people
may have severe psychological issues that compel them to
work
harder for more
money
and luxury
life style
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lifestyle
show examples
. They believe,
if
Correct word choice
that if
show examples
they
wanted
Wrong verb form
want
show examples
to spend
money
for any reason,
firstly
they have to earn more. For more explanation, my cousin's husband is a workaholic man who always
talk
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talks
show examples
about
money
and finance. He does not care about spending time with his wife and children
,
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apply
show examples
but cares a lot
for
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about
show examples
his
bank's
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bank
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account status. In conclusion, I think there are various factors that can persuade someone to
work
in different careers.
This
demand can originate from a mandatory situation and financial issue, or
in
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on
show examples
the other hand, it would be a mental health.
Submitted by afrough on

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Introduction
Ensure you have a clear thesis statement in the introduction that addresses the essay prompt directly. This statement should guide the overall direction of your essay.
Coherence
Structure your main paragraphs around clear topic sentences that relate back to the thesis. Each paragraph should explore a single main idea.
Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas and arguments smoothly. Avoid repetition by using synonyms and paraphrasing where appropriate.
Task Response
Develop your ideas fully with more detailed explanations and specific examples that directly support your arguments. Ensure examples are directly related to the topic.
Conclusion
Include a conclusion that summarizes your key points and restates your position in a clear and direct manner. Avoid introducing new ideas or evidence in the conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • job market dynamics
  • skill diversification
  • technological advancements
  • income potential
  • gig economy
  • flexible opportunities
  • financial necessity
  • economic instability
  • insufficient wages
  • work-life balance
  • burnout
  • continuous learning
  • development
  • social pressure
  • peer pressure
  • career trajectory
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