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Band 4

The popularity of online education has grown significantly in recent years. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#popularity #education #years #development
Nowadays, online
education
 is very popular. People think that it saves
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of time but now people
are preferring
Wrong verb form
prefer
show examples
 online
education
 so they are sending their children to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
offline
education
 less
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
also
 they are doing online
education
the
Change preposition
through the
show examples
 TV which is convenient for everyone
while
 sitting at home. It brings a positive or negative effect, we will write about it in the next body On the one hand, people are spending less money on online
education
, which is convenient for them, and it is a reason for children to stay at home, but they rarely do physical activity, which
also
 affects their eyes.
on
Capitalize word
On
show examples
 TV, the teacher works with only one child and the child learns
this
 is subject, they are very easy for them. In recent years, our
presdent
Correct your spelling
president
 has been paying great
atention
Correct your spelling
attention
 to the youth. efforts are being made
On the other hand
,
this
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
online reading teaching system is very slow
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because children are having difficulty
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing the exercises online teachers give
less
Correct pronoun usage
them less
show examples
 time to do the exercises. I think
this
 is wrong
also
 they are harming
Correct your spelling
their
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 eyes which is very dangerous, but now technology is very advanced, It
also
 causes many diseases,
for example
,eye pain
Correct word choice
and headache
show examples
headache
Fix the agreement mistake
headaches
show examples
 lead to less movement of
legs
Correct article usage
the legs
show examples
 and reduced blood circulation which are very dangerous to summarize it causes a lot of problems so start online system
instead
 of
online
Add an article
the online
an online
show examples
 system need to eat In conclusion, it can be the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of society's
dissaticfaction
Correct your spelling
dissatisfaction
 and various diseases, but in any case, reading leads to maturity and changes the worldview Now Worldwide online
education
 famous .
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Focus on developing a clear introduction and conclusion that state your position and summarize your arguments respectively. This will enhance the logical flow and relevance of your essay.
Logical Structure
Improve the logical structure of your essay by organizing it into clear paragraphs, each with a single main idea supported by explanations or examples. Avoid jumping between ideas unexpectedly.
Supported Main Points
Support your main points with relevant and specific examples or explanations to strengthen your arguments. Consider using real-life examples, data, or hypothetical situations that clearly relate to the topic.
Complete Response
Provide a clear response to the essay question by taking a definitive stance (positive or negative) on the topic of online education. Expand on this position throughout the essay, ensuring each paragraph contributes to supporting your viewpoint.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
Aim for clearer and more comprehensive explanations of your ideas. Avoid making very broad statements without elaboration. Use transitions effectively to link ideas within and across paragraphs.
Relevant & Specific Examples
Incorporate specific examples that directly relate to online education and its implications. Avoid general or unrelated examples. These examples should illustrate your points and add depth to your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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