A group of people think that the penalty for each kind of crime needs to equal, another group says that before giving punishment wants to analyse the stimulantt and motivation of the crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#group #people #penalty #crime #punishment #analyse #stimulantt #motivation

Nowadays, some

people

argue whether punishment for each type of crime has to be similar or

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

should have differences depending on the situation. It is agreed, that motivation and kind offence can vary,

therefore

people

should not be judged equally.

This

essay,

firstly

, will discuss, why someone considers similarity in penalties fair,followed by an analysis of reasons which confirm that everyone should receive what they deserve.

To begin

with, the identical system of judgment can terrify criminals because payment of their decisions can be unfair.

Therefore

this

solution can reduce the level of crime dramatically.

In addition

, if

this

similarity existed, it would simplify the work process for judges.

Thus

people

who were victims of crime support

this

view ,as they want to avoid time-consuming trials.

On the other hand

, it would be unfair to receive an equal penalty as it is for murders

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

if someone did a shoplifting.

Moreover

, even for some criminals there are limits to what is "acceptable", and

this

decision will break those boundaries ,which can lead to overwhelming risks and reckless behaviour.

Conversely

, the laws that are established now work properly and help to prevent emergency situations from occurring.

For example

, shoplifters do not physically harm

people

therefore

their punishment should be not long imprisonment and correctional work ,

while

murders

Replace the word

murderers

show examples

and rapists should be in prison for their entire life and it is still not enough.

Additionally

, the current system gives workplaces for layers and prosecutors, which is a positive development for the country and its citizens.

To conclude

this

essay supports the idea that similar punishment for all kinds of crimes is useless and unfair. Each criminal should be judged ,

however

, not all offences deserve to be condemned equally.

Submitted by amina.ilyuk8 on Thu Feb 08 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea which is developed logically with relevant supporting details.

Coherence & Cohesion

Make use of a range of cohesive devices effectively to assist with the flow of the essay.

Task Response

Make sure both views and your own opinion are discussed in adequate detail and provide relevant examples to support the points made.

Task Response

Check the structure of the essay to confirm that you have an appropriate introduction, fully developed main points in separate paragraphs, and a conclusion that summarises your opinion effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

284 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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A group of people think that the penalty for each kind of crime needs to equal, another group says that before giving punishment wants to analyse the stimulantt and motivation of the crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In today’s world, private companies rather than the government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

some people say that playing computer games is bad for children in every aspect. Others say that playing computer games can have positive effects on the way children develop. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?