A group of people think that the penalty for each kind of crime needs to equal, another group says that before giving punishment wants to analyse the stimulantt and motivation of the crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, some
people
argue whether punishment for each type of crime has to be similar or
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should have differences depending on the situation. It is agreed, that motivation and kind offence can vary,
therefore
people
should not be judged equally.
This
essay,
firstly
, will discuss, why someone considers similarity in penalties fair,followed by an analysis of reasons which confirm that everyone should receive what they deserve.
To begin
with, the identical system of judgment can terrify criminals because payment of their decisions can be unfair.
Therefore
,
this
solution can reduce the level of crime dramatically.
In addition
, if
this
similarity existed, it would simplify the work process for judges.
Thus
,
people
who were victims of crime support
this
view ,as they want to avoid time-consuming trials.
On the other hand
, it would be unfair to receive an equal penalty as it is for murders
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if someone did a shoplifting.
Moreover
, even for some criminals there are limits to what is "acceptable", and
this
decision will break those boundaries ,which can lead to overwhelming risks and reckless behaviour.
Conversely
, the laws that are established now work properly and help to prevent emergency situations from occurring.
For example
, shoplifters do not physically harm
people
,
therefore
their punishment should be not long imprisonment and correctional work ,
while
murders
Replace the word
murderers
show examples
and rapists should be in prison for their entire life and it is still not enough.
Additionally
, the current system gives workplaces for layers and prosecutors, which is a positive development for the country and its citizens.
To conclude
,
this
essay supports the idea that similar punishment for all kinds of crimes is useless and unfair. Each criminal should be judged ,
however
, not all offences deserve to be condemned equally.
Submitted by amina.ilyuk8 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea which is developed logically with relevant supporting details.
Coherence & Cohesion
Make use of a range of cohesive devices effectively to assist with the flow of the essay.
Task Response
Make sure both views and your own opinion are discussed in adequate detail and provide relevant examples to support the points made.
Task Response
Check the structure of the essay to confirm that you have an appropriate introduction, fully developed main points in separate paragraphs, and a conclusion that summarises your opinion effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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